An Open Letter to My High School Sweetheart
I met you in one of the most cliché ways a private Catholic school girl could have: A soiree. It's weird thinking about it now because I wasn't even planning to go that night but I guess fate didn't want to pass up the chance of us meeting. A friend of mine really wanted to go but wouldn't be allowed unless a close girlfriend of hers went. So before I knew it, I found myself changing into the first thing I saw in my closet and headed out the door. From what I recall, the initial part of the night was pretty boring and forgettable. It was the same old conversations and questions with people who were equally forgettable. That was until you approached me with two glasses of iced tea in your hand. I admit I found you strange at first because a cute boy like you almost never went for a girl like me. It was even more surprising when you asked if you could talk to me for a while. That "a while" of ours spanned the rest of the night with almost always just having each other for company. Who knew back then that the boy in that snug black polo would end up becoming one of the greatest loves of my life?
Looking back at everything, it's amusing to think that we were such a typical high school couple it was almost laughable. Before we became an actual couple, we played the best friends route first. I even remember playing MASH and FLAMES with my friends to see if you were the perfect match for me. When we finally got to dating, it was heartwarming that you always asked my mom's permission before you'd take me out on a date or even if you were just going to visit the house. I went to your games and cheered you on from the sidelines. You'd comfort me when I was going insane with all the school work and extra-curricular activities I had on my plate. We bickered over the pettiest things but then ended up laughing later forgetting the whole ordeal. We went to each other's proms and balls. We motivated each other to chase after our dream universities. We were perfect for one another. We made each other better people through all those years. We were each other's support systems. You were the person who took me out of my shell and instilled the confidence I always needed. You were the person who not only made me feel loved but who taught me to love unconditionally; which is why it was heartbreaking when we went our separate ways.
We motivated each other to chase after our dream universities. We were perfect for one another. We made each other better people through all those years. We were each other's support systems.
They say that almost all high school relationships end in the first year of college. I didn’t want to believe it and you didn't either. We both laughed at the thought of us separating just because we were going to college. What difference would it make we both asked? Well, apparently a lot because we did break up in the end. It was difficult for us to be in a relationship to begin with since we were going to universities that were so far away from each other. The distance gets to you, you know? It started with the little things like missed out calls and dates because of org and school requirements. Then while going out, we both began to feel bored with each other's company. It was still comforting but it didn't feel as great as before. We didn't talk as often and as long as we used to. The same things that used to interest us suddenly didn't. We started to have trust issues. Who's that guy in your Snapchat story? Who's that girl who you apparently studied all night with? I didn't know you were going to a party?! It always ended with the question, "Why didn't you tell me?" Somehow, we knew we weren't right for each other anymore and it terrified us that we thought we were falling for other people. At the end of it, we weren't even surprised that we needed to break up. It was the healthy kind of breakup. There was no dramatic screaming, no bitter words, or ugly fight. But it was still excruciatingly painful. It's not every day that you need to let go of the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with.
Somehow, we knew we weren't right for each other anymore and it terrified us that we thought we were falling for other people.
For the record, I don't think we ended because we didn't love each other anymore even if that's what we both said. I think we still did love each other and probably always will. The realization was simple. The puzzle pieces didn't fit anymore. We just grew up into different people and realized we wanted different things, things we couldn’t give one another. I guess it's just part of growing up but I'm thankful you were there for me through all those years. You were the perfect love at the time and there is not one second of that relationship I could ever regret. We will always be each other's high school sweethearts, each other’s first love. No one can ever take that away from us.
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