An Open Letter To A Friend I Once Knew
Now, you must be curious as to why I suddenly thought of you. Well, I never really forgot you. I guess a lot of things just piled up and I suddenly couldn't tick off all the things in my to-do list, so I never really got the chance to fix things between us. But I never forgot you.
They say heartbreaks hurt the most. But how come I felt even more pain once I realized that you were no longer by my side? Sometimes when I happen to look at the sky, I suddenly remember you. I wonder if sometimes, you think of me too.
READ: She Was Once Your Friend
How did things end up this way?
Remember our hilarious conversations, our late-night heart to hearts, and the things we only told each other about? Or at least, things I only told you about? I still think back at those moments when I happen to pass by our picture in my room.
I don't know how distance seemed to hurt our relationship even though we're just a few meters apart. Sometimes, when I see you in the hallway, I look at you and wonder if you still do your usual routines or if you still have the same quirks and antics up your sleeve. You're with your own friends now and I'm with my own. But I still remember our own hang-outs and the incredibly foolish but priceless things that we did when we were together. I still remember how I could open up my heart to you and you would never judge whatever came out of my mouth–you only had words of acceptance and a heart that opened up to me too. I remember when I had my heart broken for the first time and you were there, rushing towards me to wipe the tears that slid past my horrible-pain stricken face. I miss the times when we would laugh and cry about schoolwork together, how we'd cheer each other on through each and every endeavor that the other faced.
It's funny how so much time could pass in a second. Now, everything has changed. To be really honest, I don't know how it happened. You were there with me for one moment and in the next, you were in the other table sitting and laughing with a group of people I have never even talked to.
There are still times when I think that we could patch things up with one another. Our friendship didn't crumble because of a fight, it didn't disappear because you were too busy with a boy, it just suddenly happened, like a firework fizzing through the sky and then exploding instantaneously at its highest point–our friendship burst apart just when we were at our most inseparable.
Maybe the universe wanted it this way. Maybe you were just there for a few years, to teach me things that no one else could. Maybe you were just there for a few birthday candles and Christmases to light up my day when no one else could seem to make me laugh. I felt a comfort with you that I didn't feel with anyone else. It's sad to think that we're not in each other's lives anymore.
But even though our time together was brief, I still thank the universe for letting me meet you. Those times when we felt we conquered the world, when we would laugh until our stomach hurts that we had to bend over, when we cried about our own frustrations and pain, I will never forget them.
It's a funny thing that I also don't remember how we met. I just remember connecting with you instantly. We were alike in so many ways but we also had our differences. Yet, our differences easily complemented one another, easily fitting like a puzzle piece. You were my first best friend, the one person who saw me grow up, and the one who understood me the most.
There are no words to describe just how much I miss you. But then, there are things we have to learn to accept no matter how much we want it to go the other way around. I can't think of a way to end this letter, just like how I can't seem to forget our friendship. I'm not good with goodbyes but I'll try my best to end this one well.
Thank you, you gave me more than everything. I miss you, and I still have hope that maybe one day, our friendship will rekindle again.