Features

All The Ups and Downs of an Almost Relationship

Stuck in that grey area in between official and no labels? Check which side of the coin is for you.
PHOTO Fox Searchlight

He loves you? He loves you not? You love him? You love him not? Maybe you're not sure yet, which is why you want to stay in the dating phase where you can say spend all your time with him, no problems, and still not be 100% committed or expected to be the perfect girlfriend! This is your almost relationship and it has its fair share of ups and downs. If you're in one now maybe it'll be good for you to look at what the two of you are, and see the reason why you're keeping the "almost" in what you and he have.

UPS
Maybe you're just not the relationship type?

 1  There's no pressure, if you're not ready.

Being in love, or having a guy, can be all rainbows and butterflies but the moment you include expectations to be a good girlfriend—like having to meet his parents, having to buy him gifts, and consistently go out—and you're not sure if you can handle all that in the relationship. It's not supposed to be stressful or anything to be a girlfriend, but some girls are more comfortable without labels, and if that's okay with the both of you, then why not?

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
CONTINUE READING BELOW
Recommended Videos

elenavia giphy.com

 2  The less commitment, the more freedom.

As ugly as that sounds, sometimes this is a good thing. Again, there are no set rules in an almost relationship. You're enjoying the flirting, but you don't have to stress out about him every second of your life because you're still in your happy phase. If you're not officially together, there's less guilt when you're crushing on another boy, or if you and he argue, there's less on the line.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

hugvia giphy.com

One of the best things about the almost relationship is when you're doing things that he might not like and you feel guilty about it after. That's when you know that maybe it's time to step the dating up a notch to an actual relationship.

 3  If you decide to leave, it will hurt less.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Without the pressure, without the commitments, face it—you may just be in it for the feeling of joy and kilig when you're with him, or the attention he gives you. Sometimes the love in an almost relationship might be superficial, because you never really get to test the waters of actually being with the person seriously. Look at the ugly truth, when you realize that maybe the almost relationship isn't working out for you, there's less pain and hardships because either way, you weren't a couple, really?

hug gifvia giphy.com

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

DOWNS
But there's nothing worse than regret.

 1  There's magic in a relationship you don't get to experience.

If you love the person very much, sometimes it's frustrating that you aren't a legit couple yet. Even if you're scared to be someone's girlfriend, you have to admit that it's nice having someone who can call you his and you can call him yours. Maybe dates would be much sweeter because you can envision a future together, or you can release all your stress and problems to him and he'll really be there to listen because you need a boyfriend who cares for you so much. There's more pressure, yes, but there's also a pay-off that you won't understand until you remove the "almost" in your relationship.

milavia giphy.com

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

 2  It's more frustrating trying to find out your actual status.

Every girl in an almost relationship who is serious about it, knows this and hates it! You're not official but you see each other every day, you text him every minute and you dream about his face every day. You don’t have any commitments, but you don't know whether or not you can date other boys because he'll feel bad if you do. You feel obligated to go out on dates with him over your friends, but he's not your boyfriend. It's really an irritating grey area and you'll always find yourself in situations where you're not sure if it's okay to put yourself first because either way you're not a couple and there shouldn't be any expectations, or to put him first cause well you do like or love each other. It's all really confusing.

500 days of summervia giphy.com

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

 3  When he leaves, it will hurt more.

The thing about every almost, and even real, relationship is that it's the work of two people, not just you. You can't control what the other person is feeling and sometimes when you're at your ultimate high with him, you wouldn't know if he could possibly be falling out already. Label or no label, you still give a piece of yourself to him, maybe with the hopes you'll become more than just this  almost, or maybe just for the moment. The lack of commitment is a risk that you have to take because he may or may not be expecting the same things you are.

ashley bensonvia giphy.com

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

It's hard to have an actual sit-down talk with a boy where you explain all your feelings and lay down what you want and need as you become almost boyfriend and almost girlfriend, but this is important because you have to know these things to avoid painful and abrupt endings.

Think about your almost relationship, what it is and what it could be, and find out if you want it to be more or if you're happy exactly where you are. Because sometimes there's a good side to your almost—you almost had a relationship with a guy who was actually a jerk. You almost kissed a guy who would eventually leave you for someone else. But that it can also be bad—you almost became the girlfriend of the man of your dreams. You almost admitted to him that you love him, but he was gone before you knew it.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Are you in an almost relationship? Just tweet us @candymagdotcom or leave a comment below, let's talk!

your REACTION
CUTE

0

HEART

0

OMG

0

YAY

0

/////////////////////////////
COMMENTS. JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW!
Comments
About the author
Ces Tan
Candymag.com Correspondent
I'm a Candy Girl cause a Candy Girl is fun and fierce, but at the same time confident and courageous! And I love Candy Magazine! 
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM Ces

Create your content

Photo
Video
SoundCloud
Hi, you!
Title
Body Text
*1st 15 seconds will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
or
Upload Video
*For the direct video upload option, only the first 15 seconds of the video will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)

By submitting your post, you agree to Candymag's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Thank you for submitting your post.
You will be notified via email once your entry has been approved by the Candy team.

Submitted posts will be subject to the approval of the Candy Team.

A few reminders:

  1. Candy Bulletin is an online platform where users can upload original work, personal passion projects, and other forms of self-expression, for the purpose of sharing with the community.
  2. You can upload photos of your curated OOTDs, 15-second videos, essays, poems, and more, as long as the submitted work is original, follows copyright laws, and free of any nudity, pornography, or profanity.
  3. You are encouraged to comment on one another's posts, as long as everyone remains respectful.
Submit Another Post View More Posts
latest on CandyMag.com
 
x
Share
At The British School Manila, students use social media to foster a sense of belonging.
 
x
Share
The security issues detected "may have been actively exploited" by hackers.
 
x
Share
"No matter how hard we tried to make it work, it wasn't meant to be."
 
x
Share
Take your pick from this list of self-care apps and mood trackers.
 
x
Share
It isn't an easy feat even for the regular students like us.
 
x
Share
In case you're curious about what kind of jobs are currently available in the market.
LOAD MORE ARTICLES
your REACTION
Pick a sticker to view stories by reaction!
/////////////////////////////
CONNECT WITH US