There is only one thing on my Christmas wish list this year and that's you. I know for the longest time it has always seemed like a long shot but these past few months have been different. After what feels like forever, I finally see a glimmer of hope. Maybe it's all in my head but there's something different in the way you look at me now. If I were just a friend, you wouldn't look at me in that way. You wouldn't smile at me the way you do. I should know since from the very beginning I wanted to be the reason for that smile. It's the kind of smile that makes your heart melt a little and you swoon.
Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach just thinking of you as I write this. Your smile, your charisma, and your eyes make me question if you're even real. You're the perfect gentleman, sweet, caring, and always thoughtful. Everyone loves you and it's not hard to see why. You're always there to help people when they're in need, talk to them when they seem down, hug them when the world is crashing down on them, and be the person they can always rely on no matter what. You're the prince straight out of a fairytale–tall, dark, brilliant, charming, and handsome. It's funny how I'm talking about you as if you're mine already. As if all the fantasies I have made up in my head are actually real. As if you'll be the one I'll be kissing under the mistletoe this year.
It's unbelievable to me how badly I want you. I've never been the type of girl who falls hard for someone. I like being in control of my feelings, but right now you've got the reins on them and you're steering in all kinds of directions. This is why I wish you weren't so easy to fall for. I wish you weren't so nice because all these signals are getting mixed up in my head. Do you really like me? Am I just imagining this connection? Is this really anything more than friendship? You're confusing me beyond belief. One minute you're saying something hinting on romance, and then the next minute you brush it off with a joke. So it's hard to distinguish what you really feel for me even more so since my own feelings are clouding my judgment.
Being with you, spending time with you, makes me feel as if we're in those cheesy romantic comedies we all secretly love. You're so easy to be with. I can't help but smile and laugh when you're around. I feel as if I can talk to you about anything and everything under the sun. We can jump from talking about something as insignificant as our new favorite singers to our political views about the country. It's so easy to open up to you and tell you about the things I fear losing, the doubts that run in my head, and everything else I usually bundle up inside. Moreover, it warms my heart when you open up to me. You're usually afraid to show people any emotion besides happiness so it constantly amazes me when you show me the sides of yourself which you'd normally never show. It's comforting and beautiful to find someone you can talk to like that, where nothing feels forced and everything just flows out naturally.
Look, I know you're out of my league and I feel as if I don't deserve you but a girl can dream, right? I want to be more than just a friend in your life. I want to be the girl you can't stop thinking about. I want to be the girl you call up in the middle of the night to talk to just because you can't sleep. I want to be the girl who is the answer to all your prayers. I want to be the girl you wish for on every falling star. I want to be the girl you look for in your happiest and darkest moments. I want to be the girl you think of in all the love songs. I want to be the girl you go on all those cliché and romantic dates with. I want to be the girl you'd always be able to find in any crowd. I want to be the girl whose picture you can stare at all you want and never tire of looking at. I want to be the girl whose words cut right into your soul. I want to be the girl that inspires you to be the best version of you every day. I want to be the girl you're dreaming of kissing under the mistletoe because at the end of all of these I believe that you're that guy for me.
I don't know if you're ever going to read this but if you do and you know who you are, I just wanted you to know that despite everything I have said, it's okay if you don't feel the same way. I'll understand because to begin with, I just want you to be happy. As cliché it sounds, your happiness is my happiness. If I'm not the girl for you, please promise me you'll find her. You deserve her more than anyone I know. You deserve to be loved to the point where your heart is overwhelmed by the amount of love you are being showered upon. On the off chance you think I'm that girl for you, then believe me when I say you'll be the best Christmas gift I can even begin to think of. All I want for Christmas is you. I wonder if you could make that wish come true?