A Candy Girl's Complete Guide To Spotting Fake Friends
We've all seen the quote "Friends are like stars, you don't always see them but they're always there." But it's funny, isn't it? How stars are hundreds of light years away and that by the time we see them, they've actually already combusted into millions of tiny particles unfathomable to the human eye. The irony stings, but it's also a much needed reality slap. Sometimes, people we hold close to our hearts slip right through our fingers for reasons untold, and either we never knew or we just never bothered to let it distort our preconceived notions that sweet friendships can't turn sour. And sometimes even your best-est friends are no exception.
1 She's crushing on the same guy as you even if she knows you liked him first.
Spotted your "pal" getting a little too comfy with your crush? You just caught your friend commiting one of the world's worst girl code betrayals. Real friendships work because of mutual respect for each other. The moment your other half thinks your feelings and emotions can be pushed aside and disregarded for her own personal satisfastion, you have to do yourself a favor and either have an honest heart-to-heart with the girl code offender or create a respectable distance between the two of you. On the off chance that she celebrates the space, make sure to keep moving.
2 She gossips about you behind your back.
Let's face it, no one's perfect. Every friendship has its highs and lows. And more often that not, it was because one of you decided to bring the other down in the heat of a nasty argument. Not everyone has as much control over their feelings as others do, so there are times when all it takes to solve a regretful backstabbing incident is an honest apology and the sincere promise to never do it again. But the moment your "friend" starts talking trash about you 24/7, you definitely need to start rethinking things.
3 She's never there when you need her.
Always seem to find yourself all alone and without her shoulder to cry on every single time you have a really big problem? Does she only seem to talk about her problems and never listen to yours? These are definitely signs that she may only really care about herself.
4 She doesn't value your worth.
I learned a very important lesson pretty early on in life, and it's that when someone shows you that they don't care, believe them. So if your friend refuses to make you a priority in her life, don't try to push yourself to someone who obviously isn't welcoming you. Discover your worth and never settle for anyone who believes otherwise. This means having enough self-respect to walk away if someone makes you think you aren't worth the effort.
5 She's only nice when she needs something.
If you know someone who only seems to speak to you when she needs a test reviewer, solutions to a Math problem, or a ride to a party, you're probably befriending someone who might be using you. Don't let yourself be a slave to someone else's needs.
6 She thinks she's better than you.
Two very important things no one should ever aim to be are ladders and doormats. Whether they're a best friend or acquantaince, you should never let yourself be walked all over by someone else to get to where they want. Don't keep someone who looks down at you to the point that they use this kind of height to help elevate their stature. True friends don't pull each other down, they raise each other up.
7 She doesn't believe in you.
"Pay close attention to people who don't clap when you win." If your "friend" tells you she's just too tired or lazy to cheer you on, just remember that it only takes around 5 seconds to give support or offer a wholehearted compliment, but weeks and months to rant about how useless and utterly meaningless she finds your success. Think about that the next time you allow her for degrading your achievements.
8 She's constantly bringing you down.
Rule #1 of any sort of relationship: If they aren't serving their purpose in your life, it's okay to walk away. True friends should always, always, always be your number one cheerleaders. Whether or not you're a barkada of 15 or 3, they should never fail to make you feel like you've got a whole marching band of supporters. The moment they start raining on your parade, it's definitely time to reconsider your relationship.
9 She leaves you out.
Movies tend to make us believe that as long as your gal pals are inviting you to the hottest parties and events in the metro, it means they're genuinely cool with you and want to stick by your side. When in reality, it's the little things that count. If you hear her making kwento 24/7 about one thing to your classmate but never says a peep to you, this might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship with this girl. Friends keep you updated because they trust you and want you involved in their lives, if yours thinks you're not worthy to hear the juicy details of her soapopera-style adventures, then get ready to walk away. If she comes after you, great! But based on the way she's been treating you, there's really no guarantee.
10 She doesn't know basic things about you.
Alright Candy Girls, listen up. Because if your friend can't even remember when your birthday is after over 5 years of friendship, it definitely means something. If she doesn't think you deserve a spot in her calendar, you better think twice about making her a big part of your life.