I've come to a point in my life where a lot of my closest friends already have boyfriends, but I've never felt pressured to have one just because everyone else does. Sure, every time I have lunch dates with the barkada, I'm the only one without the boy talk to share, but it's no biggie. My friends know that I'm in love with what I do, and basically my time to share "boy talk," is basically me sharing what I've been doing in school the last few weeks, or me talking about cute boys who don't even know I exist, or cute boys from books who don't even exist. I don't think the point in life where you don't need a boyfriend is based on age. I know people way younger than I am, who seem to be in mature relationships. No one except you can really tell if you're ready for this kind of commitment. No one in this world knows yourself better than you do. If ever you're doubting and wondering why you don't have this special person in your life, here are 9 possible reasons.
- You're still so indecisive. You don't have favorites. Well, if you do, they change constantly. When you get sick of one thing, you switch to another. What would happen if you get sick of your boyfriend? It's not something you can just get rid of at a whim. You could like fries today and onion rings tomorrow. If fries and onion rings were people, their feelings would simply just get hurt.
- You need to give yourself space to grow and blossom. It's a little tough to discover what your interests are when you're already deeply rooted in the interests of another person. How sure are you that your choices aren't influenced by your partners? Get to know yourself and let yourself evolve into the person you were meant to be. How can you get to know someone new, when you are still getting know yourself? Let yourself grow.
- You're supposed to be having fun. You're probably thinking, "Huh, fun? I'm 18, not 8!" Fun in the sense that, you might not want anything serious in your life. Maybe you just want to enjoy every little moment that's yet to come. You want to enjoy every bit of your youth before the serious stuff in life like work, taxes and bills come around.
- You still have complete the puzzle of the mystery Y-O-U. I don't believe in the cheesy phrase "you complete me," because no one else can ever complete another person. You should love another when you've learned to love yourself, and you're complete as a person. Don't make other people fill the missing pieces of your identity, and don't look for love in other places if you can't love yourself just yet. When the day comes that you feel like you are complete, and you've learned to love every inch of yourself, you'd be whole and ready to love another more than ever.
- Because you're still straightening out your own goals. You might be in the middle of an identity crisis. You're figuring out who you are, what you want to be, what trail you want to take. Having a boyfriend could be added baggage in clearing out your life goals.
- You are yet to learn. We are always told to prioritize our studies. We hear lines from our relatives like "Wag muna mag-love life, ah. Pag-aaral muna." or "Laude bago landi." But in reality, it's not impossible to juggle both at the same time. You are yet to learn in the sense that, you have so much more to discover on your own before you are ready to stay committed in a relationship. This doesn't necessarily have to be something Academic-related. There are things you just discover in everyday (singe girl) life.
- Because your plate is full. There are people who just have so much on their plate. Most times these are the people who are very career-oriented. Work is the so-called boyfriend in their life. Maybe you're a college student juggling several orgs, taking majors, taking an internship, and even a part-time job? Where do you insert time for your boyfriend? What happens when a plate is overflowing? If you force having a relationship in a way too busy schedule, things could just go wrong for your relationship and with work. You'd fight because you're not able to give enough time for the boyfriend. And if you are able to do so, it's your work or studies that have to give way. Always just get enough—not too little, not too much. Just what's right for you.
- You're not mature enough. I don't need a boyfriend at this point of my life, not because I'm young, but because I'm not mature enough for it. Age does not measure maturity. You could be 30 and feel like you're not mature enough for a relationship. Knowing if you're not mature enough for such commitment and bravely being able to admit that is a sign of maturity.
- Just because you're comfortable that way. No one can judge you for not having a boyfriend. If that's the way you want things to be, then let it be. There is no deadline or best before date in relationships. Just believe in perfect timing, Candy Girl. If Prince Charming or Mr. Right, is really out there, he'll be waiting for you to be ready.