7 Kinds of Toxic Friends and How to Deal with Them

by Danielle Bernabe   |  Nov 2, 2015
PHOTOS Majoy Siason
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Here's a little reality check. You probably have that one friend who you know you shouldn't really be friends with. It's not that they're not real friends, you know that they really care about you and they'll be there for you no matter what, but sometimes they're just too much. They're the kinds of friends who you love to death but quite frankly might actually be the cause of your own demise. So to save you from an early death, here is an easy and quick guide on how to deal with the different kinds of toxic friends. Expressed in Mean Girls GIFs, natch.

 1  The Overdramatic One

This is the friend who exaggerates ~everything~. She turns every little problem into such a huge thing. It’s very emotionally draining for you to constantly deal with her and her "exaggerated problems." Usually, this kind of people don't really have any real problems. They generally have good lives. So just try to make her realize how great her life is. Also, instead of just being annoyed at this person, get her to realize how small the problem is but do it with kind words. You want to be helpful and understanding and not rude. Always acknowledge that you understand what she’s feeling but she needs to stop getting overwhelmed, and instead try to relax and focus on solutions.

 2  The Needy and Clingy One

This person doesn't understand what the word space means. Her whole world revolves around you. She expects you to reply ASAP, be able to go to every bonding sesh, and be ready to take her calls 24/7. When you can't do any or all of the above, she always takes it against you immediately labeling you a bad friend. She's an exhausting friend to have, and you should honestly only take her in small doses. Calmly talk to her about the situation and tell her you need space. If she understands and gives you what you need, then keep her. It just means that she cares about you enough to respect your need for personal space and time. If she takes this against you again, then maybe you need to rethink certain things. An action like that just shows that she cares about herself more than you. Remember though, to tell her that you really do love her and you will always be her true friend. Tell her how she's loved by so many people who she can choose to spend time with, too. Friends like these feel like they're going to lose you if they let you out of their sight for even a second. So reassure her that you love her and really care about her. You don’t want to completely leave her but she should learn how to survive without you when you are not available.


 3  The Negative Nancy

This is the friend who is so pessimistic about everything. She is the living and breathing version of "Sadness" from Inside Out. Day in and day out, all she does is complain about what's wrong with her life. Now, I know it's important to have a little sadness in your life, but when you're always wallowing in it, there is something really wrong with that. No matter what you do, this friend is always so depressed about everything. It gets frustrating and disheartening to be her friend because you slowly feel that you are about to end up into a mirror of her negative self as well. After all, who you're friends with says a lot about who you are. In this case, there are only 2 real options. Either A, she's really clinically depressed. If that's what's happening then just try your best to get medical help for her, but also remember to take care of yourself. Or B, she doesn't listen to you, and just keeps choosing to always be sad. That is when you should really talk to her. She should realize that you can't always be there to be her willing outlet for sadness.

 4  The Party Addict

There will always be that one friend who always parties and hangs out like there's no tomorrow. Parties and bonding moments are great and all, but it can't be something you plan everything around on. This friend has all the wrong priorities. It's always fun before hard work for her. What's worse is that you get dragged along into this kind of lifestyle. Instead of studying for your midterms on Monday, you're partying until dawn and you find yourself both spiraling down the same black hole. Literally everything in your life suffers since your priorities are no longer straight. It's not just your grades that get affected but also your relationships with your friends and family as well. This is when you need to put limits to the friendship. You need to take it slow until you get your priorities straightened out. Try to talk to your friend about her lifestyle and point out to her what this is doing to her life and to you. If she realizes and accepts the need for change of priorities, you would have saved both of you in the process. If she doesn't, maybe it's time to say goodbye.

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 5  The Rebel

This is the friend who your parents warned you never to be friends with. This is the girl who influences you to do horrible things. She’s the one who gets you in so much trouble. You love her so much and you know that she loves you too, but she's dangerous. This girl has a lot of pent up anger at the world and even more anger at herself. She may not seem to realize it but this girl does have regret for the things she does. She just wants to seem tough and indifferent to the world to show she doesn't care, but deep in her heart, she does really care and she's just afraid to show she does. So just try to see if you can make her see the light, because if she can't, for your sake, walk away.

 6  The Control Freak

You're not really sure if this girl is really your friend or your boss. She's very controlling of who you are and what you do. She wants you to be more of this ideal version of a friend than a real friend. You comply to it even though you really don't really want to. Granted this is both your faults—she shouldn't even try to change you, and it's your fault for letting her change you. You are most likely doing this out of your need to feel accepted and loved. While on her part, she's doing it because you're probably the one thing she either has control of or has no real control of. In this case, both of you need to step back and really assess if you're in this friendship for the right reasons.


 7  The Green-Eyed Monster

Literally everyone is competition to this girl! It doesn't matter if it's another girl friend, boy friend, or a potential boyfriend. Sadly, even your family is competition in her eyes. Be careful, some of these kinds of friends are not very obvious. She'll always pit you against another friend or say things about this "threat of a person" and say she or he is bad news—that she's just using you, or backstabbing you, or simply not good for you. Why does she do it? Everyone has their own unique reasons but it's most often because she feels very insecure about herself. She wants to be the only person you can run to, so that she can feel needed and wanted. This girl has probably dealt with a lot of rejection in her life. So try not to add anymore. Instead, make her realize that she doesn't need to worry about you disappearing from her life. Make her realize that she's loved and thought of, even if she's not the only friend you have in your life. Encourage her to make new friends too. She really just needs a little TLC to make this a better friendship.

So be careful, Candy Girls, with the kinds of friendships you have. Watch for all the signs of a toxic friend and remember: the best kinds of friends always bring out the best in you. They make you feel loved and they take you higher. They accept you for the real you and yet they motivate you out of your comfort zone to always improve. If the friends you have in your life aren't able to do these things, then you're with the wrong crew. You always have a choice. You can't choose your family and relatives, but you always have a choice in the kind of friends you keep. So choose people who will constantly bring a positive effect in your life! 

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About the author
Danielle Bernabe
Candymag.com Correspondent
Whether it’s through books, fashion, a plane, or my own imagination, I’m always on an epic adventure. Sure, I get lost quite a lot but hey it always makes a great story!
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