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6 Things People With Single Moms Can Relate To

"So, asan ang tatay mo?"
IMAGE CW

The image a lot of people have of a perfect family is a mommy, a daddy, and their children. But, this isn't the case for a lot of people.

I grew up with only my mom by my side, and many are in the same situation that I was once in. From the day that I was born up to the age of fifteen, my mother was the only parent I ever knew. As I grew older, I noticed that most kids my age had fathers and yet, I stood alone. I also noticed I could relate to things only those in a similar situation as me could relate to. Here are a few:

  1. You grew up believing that women can do both.

In the world that we live in today, many still believe that men and women should always fit into a certain gender stereotype. If they don't, then there's something wrong with them. Now, society is more accepting of breaking those stereotypes, and single moms do so more than anyone else. They the bills, they get things done, they are the one person that helps you keep yourself together at all times.

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  1. You're used to telling her everything.

Growing up with you and your mom around means having to get used to being around each other all the time.  As you grow older, you find it hard to even think about lying to your mom. You envy your friends who can say, “Gagawa nalang ako ng dahilan" or tatakas nalang ako," without feeling a shiver of guilt crawl up their spines. You envy them because you know you could never do the same. My mom knows a lot about me, from the first time that I lost a tooth up to the first boy that broke my heart. You tell your mom, but not because you feel like you can't tell anyone else. You tell her because deep down, you know she'll be able to understand you the most.

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  1. She can get very protective of you.

You know she's only doing it because she wants to protect you. Still, her over protectiveness can become a little too suffocating at times. Going out with your friends is hard because you have to ask days in advance. Even when you do, there's still no guarantee that you'll be able to go. You're amazed when you see the snaps of your schoolmates out with their friends going home at 12 in the morning. Meanwhile, while you still have to follow your bed time. You don't dwell on it too much though, because you know that no matter how much you fight with her, your mother is only doing what she feels is best for you.

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  1. When it comes to your mom, you have no shame.

Your mom was there with you to ugly cry about your first heartbreak. She's the one that—for the girls out there—taught you how your period works, and how much period cramps suck. She has been with you through thick and thin, and when you grow up, you hope to do the same for her. You couldn't imagine up and leaving her. Meanwhile some of your friends that plan to leave as soon as they save up enough money. She was the one that changed your diapers all those late nights. She fed you even when you didn't want to eat, and led you to be all that you are today. One day, you hope to do the same for her.

  1. You've heard "So, asan na tatay mo?" one too many times.

Ah, the patriarchal views of society that only seem to grow with every day that passes. How refreshing. Growing up, I heard a lot of people ask me this question. There was a point where I felt like lying and telling them that he died instead of having to go through the whole story. What's worse is when they ask you if you're happy afterward—no, they ask if you're happy happy, which is "impossible" without a dad. You've learned to tune out these kinds of people out because hey, they probably just don't know better.

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  1. She is your best friend, through thick and thin.

Yes, you argue a lot and yes, there are times when having a single parent can be tough. For your mom, it means double the stress, double the workload, and double the responsibility of being a parent. However, all that stress means nothing to her as long as she is able to make you happy, and that's why you love her with all of your heart. She is there for you no matter what, and has done nothing but fight for you and support you since day one, up to her very last breath, and you love her more than anything in the world because of that. That is, you hope, something that will never change.

Yes, this definitely doesn't apply to all single moms, or to single parents in general, but it might be something a lot of people can relate to. Your mom is where your world begins. She is the force that guides you all throughout your life, and all that she asks is that you reach your end where you started: with her. So, if you've been feeling a bit distant from your mom, whether she be single or married, maybe it's time to give her a little call.

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Know of other things only children of single moms can relate to? Share them in the comments below.

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About the author
Gaby Agbulos
Candymag.com Correspondent
Gaby Agbulos is a strong, determined spirit that enjoys doing anything as long as the people she loves with her. She enjoys listening to music, writing stories, and meeting new friends, especially if by friends, you mean puppies.
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Why our high school barkada is the best?

Remembering our high school years entails quite a lot reminiscing of the things we all been through when we were younger. You’ve experience a lot of new things during those 4 wonderful years and did most of them with the few people you consider your barkada. And through a series of all the lunch breaks you had together, the walks you took on the way home, and taking the same classes, you never thought you’d survive, you have made your life’s greatest friends.

Here are some of the reasons why your high school barkada is the best:

1. You figured out early teenage life together. The transition one have undergone from being a kid to a teenager wasn’t easy. For a moment you are not sure whether you should have played with your friends during recess or you should have just sat down and ate your food because you were too old for games. But whatever it is you chose to do, having friends who were as clueless as you make everything feel easier because you know, deep down, you’d figure things out eventually. You just need good company.

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2. They were with you during your “jeje“ days. I bet you have pictures taken with Camera360 and Retrica. You also have pictures edited using Pizap with embarrassing captions and you somehow kept some of them so you could have something to post online during their birthdays.

3. They know all your exes. They will never EVER forget the name of an ex-boyfriend, an ex-fling, an ex-crush, and an almost you had. They will remind you of your every questionable love decision but you’ll just laugh anyway while saying “Past is past”.

4. They never judge you. They have welcomed you to their lives when you thought jelly shoes and checkered polos were the bomb! They were quick to have told your teachers that you were not feeling well so you could go home when you really just needed to poop. You tell them every embarrassing story you have and were fine with it.

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5. You can always count on them. From the moment you first fell in love and the moment you first had your heart broken, they were with you. They were with you the moment you lost a parent and at moments when you thought you had nothing. Through every break-up and breakthrough, they were there to be your support system.

6. They are your family. Your high school friend’s family is your own family’s extension. Their parents are like your own. Don’t you feel a little kilig whenever your friend’s parents call you “anak”? And then eventually calling them mama and papa became so natural? I felt that, all the time.

7. They will always be your home. They are your place of refuge and security, the place who offers you their hands when you feel lost and the place you run to when you need saving. No matter how much time and distance separate you, they will be the one’s that you always long for and they are the one’s that you will always return to.

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Hi, my sister sent me this link :)

I would like my vlog to be featured in Candy! I believe that if my vlog gets featured in Candy, I will be able to help more aspiring med students! I made this a Youtube vlog just like three weeks ago. So far, I have been receiving messages that they find my med school videos informative! My vlog focuses on med school tips :) So far, these are my content:

Check out the Med School Interview tips I have for UPCM, St. Luke’s, UERM, and ASMPH here: https://youtu.be/lnxqhIktcIM

Check out what’s in my Med Kit for ward works here: https://youtu.be/FbiyerNMkJ4

If you haven’t watched Hospital Playlist, let us tell you why you should watch it here: https://youtu.be/mDOcM-Jd1e8

Do you have any Med School Worries? Watch this! Candy Cutie Eljohn Yee might have answered it:

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Part 1 https://youtu.be/x6M74Gyx0G4 and Part 2 https://youtu.be/-a7HyrkJS80

Wanna know more about UPCM Intarmed? Click here: https://youtu.be/XnKtPxQYIkg

Thank you! Hope we can both work together to inspire med students :)

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