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6 Things People With Single Moms Can Relate To

"So, asan ang tatay mo?"
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The image a lot of people have of a perfect family is a mommy, a daddy, and their children. But, this isn't the case for a lot of people.

I grew up with only my mom by my side, and many are in the same situation that I was once in. From the day that I was born up to the age of fifteen, my mother was the only parent I ever knew. As I grew older, I noticed that most kids my age had fathers and yet, I stood alone. I also noticed I could relate to things only those in a similar situation as me could relate to. Here are a few:

  1. You grew up believing that women can do both.

In the world that we live in today, many still believe that men and women should always fit into a certain gender stereotype. If they don't, then there's something wrong with them. Now, society is more accepting of breaking those stereotypes, and single moms do so more than anyone else. They the bills, they get things done, they are the one person that helps you keep yourself together at all times.

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  1. You're used to telling her everything.

Growing up with you and your mom around means having to get used to being around each other all the time.  As you grow older, you find it hard to even think about lying to your mom. You envy your friends who can say, “Gagawa nalang ako ng dahilan" or tatakas nalang ako," without feeling a shiver of guilt crawl up their spines. You envy them because you know you could never do the same. My mom knows a lot about me, from the first time that I lost a tooth up to the first boy that broke my heart. You tell your mom, but not because you feel like you can't tell anyone else. You tell her because deep down, you know she'll be able to understand you the most.

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  1. She can get very protective of you.

You know she's only doing it because she wants to protect you. Still, her over protectiveness can become a little too suffocating at times. Going out with your friends is hard because you have to ask days in advance. Even when you do, there's still no guarantee that you'll be able to go. You're amazed when you see the snaps of your schoolmates out with their friends going home at 12 in the morning. Meanwhile, while you still have to follow your bed time. You don't dwell on it too much though, because you know that no matter how much you fight with her, your mother is only doing what she feels is best for you.

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  1. When it comes to your mom, you have no shame.

Your mom was there with you to ugly cry about your first heartbreak. She's the one that—for the girls out there—taught you how your period works, and how much period cramps suck. She has been with you through thick and thin, and when you grow up, you hope to do the same for her. You couldn't imagine up and leaving her. Meanwhile some of your friends that plan to leave as soon as they save up enough money. She was the one that changed your diapers all those late nights. She fed you even when you didn't want to eat, and led you to be all that you are today. One day, you hope to do the same for her.

  1. You've heard "So, asan na tatay mo?" one too many times.

Ah, the patriarchal views of society that only seem to grow with every day that passes. How refreshing. Growing up, I heard a lot of people ask me this question. There was a point where I felt like lying and telling them that he died instead of having to go through the whole story. What's worse is when they ask you if you're happy afterward—no, they ask if you're happy happy, which is "impossible" without a dad. You've learned to tune out these kinds of people out because hey, they probably just don't know better.

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  1. She is your best friend, through thick and thin.

Yes, you argue a lot and yes, there are times when having a single parent can be tough. For your mom, it means double the stress, double the workload, and double the responsibility of being a parent. However, all that stress means nothing to her as long as she is able to make you happy, and that's why you love her with all of your heart. She is there for you no matter what, and has done nothing but fight for you and support you since day one, up to her very last breath, and you love her more than anything in the world because of that. That is, you hope, something that will never change.

Yes, this definitely doesn't apply to all single moms, or to single parents in general, but it might be something a lot of people can relate to. Your mom is where your world begins. She is the force that guides you all throughout your life, and all that she asks is that you reach your end where you started: with her. So, if you've been feeling a bit distant from your mom, whether she be single or married, maybe it's time to give her a little call.

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Know of other things only children of single moms can relate to? Share them in the comments below.

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About the author
Gaby Agbulos
Candymag.com Correspondent
Gaby Agbulos is a strong, determined spirit that enjoys doing anything as long as the people she loves with her. She enjoys listening to music, writing stories, and meeting new friends, especially if by friends, you mean puppies.
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Eren Rodriguez 13 hours ago

They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted?

I have forgotten when was the last time we shared a smile - the last time when I saw the glow in your eyes and the last time when you whispered an I love you to me. I have forgotten when, but here I am - writing to you again.

I do not know if you will read this or you will just add this one to my proses and poems that you left unread, but you see, I am still hoping. I am mailing the pain of us to the gods out there - hoping they can take the pain away. I should have gotten over you, but instead of forgetting and accepting our ending, I am writing about us in tissue sheets, carving about us on trees, telling about us on the back of my journals, hoping that a thousand or a million write ups about us, can make me forget about what happened.

I am writing, waiting for the point where I can no longer write anymore, for I have none to tell - but when? I have nothing in me anymore, but the memories of us - and no matter how hard I try put those to its own grave, the memories grow back like lilies in the swamp - painful and beautiful at the same time.

No matter how hard I try to silence those and put it at the back of my mind, those ring back, playing like the favorite song we used to listen. They say heartbreaks turn into poetry and that is what happening to us - but poetry should be dulcet and dreamy, why does ours sound like pain and agony? They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted? Darling, I guess not.

Anne Luna 16 hours ago
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