6 Reasons You Always Feel Unhappy and How to Deal
Do you find yourself often tweeting #hugot tweets because of what you've been going through? Instead of taking it all out on social media, you can try these concrete ways to keep the sadness away. If you're unhappy for no apparent reason, as if some air of sadness breezed by you, here are 6 possible reasons you're feeling the blues. Find the root cause of why you feel sad. Is it because of school? Are you getting anxious to get good grades, or are you stressed with too much work? Or is it more of emotional? Do you have family problems? Are you being bullied? Are you heartbroken? We're here to help you think it through.
1. You're confused.
Based on Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages of development, it is between ages 12-18 that we undergo ego identity versus role confusion. In this stage, we become more independent, begin to look at the future in terms of career, relationships, families, and the like. It's the time when we want to belong and fit in the most, but we're not quite sure yet where it is we truly belong to. During this period, we tend to explore possibilities and begin to form our own identity. Failure to establish a sense of identity can lead to role confusion. This could be you not being sure what college course to take, or not being sure if you chose the right course. This could be you questioning who your true friends are. Basically you're still in a constant search for who you are and who you want to be. It's as if you're looking for something but you don't know exactly what you're looking for.
How to deal: Don't be afraid to explore. This is the time for you try to look for cliques, try out new hobbies, and do other things that would help you get to know yourself better. Confusion could be frustrating sometimes, but this will eventually lead you to who you really are.
2. The environment is bringing you down.
Science has actually proven that weather can affect the way we feel. Ever felt like you were in a sad music video every time the rain hit the window pane? Yup, that's science doing it's thing.
How to deal: We can't really do anything about the weather, so do something about what you can control. Surround yourself with a better environment. We all have a happy place. Go there. Surround yourself with what makes you happy.
3. You're torn between what's right and wrong.
C. Lawrence Kohlberg’s theory of moral development has three levels: pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional. The first tells you what is right and wrong depending on what ‘feels good,' the second one tells you what is right and wrong depending on what society dictates, and the third one tells you what is right and wrong depending on abstract ethical principles. These three levels may be conflicting. What you feel is right, and what society dictates is right may differ.
How to deal: Don't let yourself be swayed because of what other people say. Stay firm about what you really believe in.
4. You feel like something is lacking.
Sometimes we think we're not happy but in reality, we're just not contented with what we have. This doesn't only mean discontentment with material things. This could be a craving for success other people have. This could be grades, awards, or even the company of others.
How to deal: Count your blessings. We often take for granted what we have, when we only think of what we don't have. Start appreciating what's right in front of you and around you.
5. You think that people think of you in a certain "bad" way.
The Looking Glass Self is a social psychological concept by Charles Horton Cooley. This concepts tackles the way we perceive ourselves, or the self-image we have of ourselves are based on how we think others see us. Sometimes, we only think other people see us in a certain way, but they really don't. Don't over think, and don't feel the need for the approval of others. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
How to deal: You're looking for happiness in all the wrong places. Don't wait for others to make you happy. You can do it yourself. Treat yourself to a cone of ice cream, eat your favorite churros. Do the littlest things that can make you happiest.
6. You're tired.
You're working hard, but not reaping the best results. It's normal to get frustrated when things don't go the way we want them to, especially when we know we've given our best.
How to deal: Learn to accept. There's a reason for everything, and we just need to know how to keep on going, or we need stop and take a break.
Just remember, it's normal to be unhappy sometimes. We won't really know what it means to be happy, if we've never felt sad, right? Whatever you may be feeling now, you can easily ask for help. Believe it or not, there will be people who are willing to answer your questions and help you get through what you're going through.
#1: There's family. Whatever happens, they are the most constant people in your life, they will love you no matter what. Reaching out to them can help you a lot. If you're too shy to open up to your parents, you can try talking to your ate or kuya, a close cousin, tita or tito, or anyone you can easily confide to.
#2: Your friends, of course. They know you well, especially the friends who you grew up with. They'll never judge, and would tell you bluntly what you have to do. Sometimes even when you don't say anything, they'll know something's up, and they'll know the right words to say.
#3: Talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor you are close with in school. Students still think that counselors only talk to you when you've done something wrong but really, counselors are just like our friends who are ready to listen and give advice about anything under the sun. And last but never the least,
#4: Prayer. In your quiet moments of prayer, ask for His Guidance to give you a refreshed and enlightened mind.