6 Kinds of Friends to Help You Move On
Moving on after a really bad breakup is not the easiest thing to do—that's why you'll need a lot of help and advice from the people around you.
The movie My Ex and Whys is a film every girl going through a breakup can definitely relate to. Cali (Liza Soberano) is trying to find forgiveness and healing after dumping Gio (Enrique Gil), and the people who are close to her and care about her were there to help her get through the rough patch.
From her mother (Ara Mina), her ever-reliable titas (Arlene Muhlach and Cai Cortez), to her trusted guy BFF (Ryan Bang), she had people remind her just how important friends and family are. So here are the people who can knock some sense into you when YOU need help moving on (We're sure some names have already popped up in your head!):
- The Ever-Supportive Gal Pal
No matter what you do, she's got your back. When you got dumped, she was there to be a shoulder to cry on; plus, there were no judgements when you finished that pint of ice cream all by yourself.
- The "Real na Real" Friend
She's not afraid to call you out when you're thinking of making a really bad decision, like drunk calling your ex-boyfriend (sounds familiar?) or when you're being stubborn about forgetting him even though it's been forever since the breakup. Nonetheless, she loves you to bits and just wants the best for you.
- The Sassy Tita
She never fails to give you witty advice, whether you like it or not. And although she can be harsh sometimes, she's someone you can depend on when you're stuck in a rut. Her favorite line? "Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako."
- The Kunsintidor
She and your "real na real" friend are always bickering; she wants you to go and take risks while the other wants you to be wise and think before you act. Either way, surely both want you to find happiness, whether that's with a guy or not.
- The Resident Amiga
Whenever you have problems and you can't run to the people you usually go to, she's there to give you meaningful advice! It could be about love and relationships or issues at work, but whatever it is, she'll be more than willing to lend you a listening ear and on a really bad day, a comforting hug.
- The Guy BFF.
You go to him when you're finding it hard to understand men in general. He's there to give you insights and tips on how to handle the opposite sex with grace and confidence. You could say that he's sometimes your knight in shining armor, like when you badly need to get out of that disastrous date. No matter what, you can trust that he'll be there to support you.
This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.
* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.
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First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.
The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.
There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.
If you know me, and know me well, I am not the biggest fan of idyllic lifestyles. With a Type A personality, I act immediately upon whatever challenge that needs to be addressed. I actually enjoy keeping my mind preoccupied: doing university work in my favourite cafe then running errands around town, grocery shopping here, updating my accounts there, photocopying documents on the way down the street - all just in time before having a glass of champagne at the bar with my friends come evening.
And so, you could imagine my bewilderment when the next challenge to be faced was an extensive self-quarantine protocol. I didn’t know what to do when my greatest responsibility in this situation was to do nothing at all. My first few attempts to combat my consternation were very much rooted in distraction and imagination. My distractions involved conducting research, writing songs, calling family and friends, filming videos, and eating chocolate! My imaginations and fantasies were centred on travelling, shopping, even clubbing (which I rarely do) for when they find a cure to COVID-19. I did anything and everything that could be considered constructive in order to pass the time, mainly hoping I could just undertake the basic human necessities to survive - that is, eat and sleep the day through - until the next day comes, until the world is closer to becoming a better place, until quarantine ends, until my flight follows through, until I see my family and friends again.
Days in self-isolation and suspended flights turned to weeks and turned to months. By the third extension here in Spain where I study Fashion Business, I had to tell myself this shall be my new normal now, that I was blessed to be healthy, that I was tired of merely existing and missed what it was like to actually live - even if just within four walls. Little by little, I began to find significance in the simple occurrences of the day: the soft glare of the rising sun beaming golden streaks through my bedroom window upon waking up, the fragrance of freshly washed bed sheets that I had painstakingly hung to fit a relatively small clothes rack without crumpling them, the crunch and tanginess of warm toasted bread topped with raspberry marmalade, the buzzing sound of a phone call from home just waiting to be answered, to the caress of a fuzzy sweater to keep warm at night. I realised, “What pleasures to be enjoyed in the pause of slow living!” Through this continued pause, which I loathed at first, I began to appreciate each moment of the day rather than wish it would pass more swiftly, moments I had overlooked so often before the lockdown. I started to find that the challenge of self-isolation was never to pause both the regular routines of life as well as the positive emotions that came with these - as initially, I thought it meant to pause all happiness, so as to withstand a time of endurance in hopes for a better tomorrow, much like a form of delaying gratification. Life is just too fragile these days to delay gratification any further.
Life has paused, but it has not stopped. Believe that like any punctuation mark in a sentence, the pause will provide the right timing of things to take place. Till then, let us not waste our time waiting. Instead, we could be in the moment, seek substance in simplicity (that is, in what we already have), And enjoy the pleasure in pause. “Practice the Pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray.”