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5 Things You Should Say Goodbye to This 2016

It's time to leave a few things behind.
PHOTOS Majoy Siason

The best analogy one can give about life is comparing it to a book where we are the writers. Now with us being the writers, it's up to us whether or not the story is going to be good or bad. It's up to us to fill in all those blank pages by making our own decisions. These are what fuel the excitement in our lives because most of the time we don't know if we are choosing the right thing. That is why if there is one thing that we have been gifted with that we should treasure; it is our freedom to choose. This year, we invite you to use this gift to choose to take out all the unnecessary things we have been holding on from the previous year.

  1. Unnecessary Drama

    We cannot stress this enough. Leave the drama out of your life. Most of the time, we tend to create our own problems. As silly as that may sound, we do. You ever come to a point in your life where there is absolutely no drama in your life? No boy, no friend problems, no burdens at all? Sounds amazing right? It is, but the thing is, without the drama, you may tend to feel as if your life is boring. You may feel like your life has no flare, no excitement and I get that because I tend to feel that way as well. Having a life of drama makes you think that everything is more interesting. There's always some new story to tell your friends. There's something new that you can obsess over. At all costs, please try to think rationally over this. Yes, your life may feel like an exciting chick flick movie but to be honest there are other ways to spice up your life. This year, instead of creating or hanging on to past drama, find other things to say that your life is exciting. It's not that hard to be on adventure every day. You just have to choose to be.

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  2. Bad Habits

    Now every person has a set of these, whether it's being late, biting your nails, or just simply not being able to be organized. Make 2016 the year where you say goodbye to all of these. It doesn't necessarily have to be all together but start with the little things. If you're always late, set your clock a little earlier than usual. If you have problems being organized, start with the little things like getting yourself an expander. Bad habits equate to having a bad life. So start early, you are young and you can still take them out. Don't wait until you're too old. Realize what's wrong in your life now and fix the problem. After all, it's hard to teach an old dog some new tricks.

  3. Fear of Making Mistakes

    If there's one thing many of us have in common, it's this fear. But we're telling you now to kiss that thing goodbye. It's holding you back from so many wonderful opportunities. You have no idea how sad it is to see people who don't realize that in the process of preventing themselves from making mistakes, they are already making a mistake. How ironic right? Holding yourself off from taking risks isn't helping you; in fact it's putting you down. What most people don't realize is that making a mistake is something that no one should be afraid of as long as you're not making the same ones. Please be wary though. We aren't encouraging you to become a failure. We're encouraging you to take chances in life. They are what take you far. Those who are too afraid never really go anywhere. Many of us, even our elders, are never able to correct our fear of this. What they fail to realize is that failure is not your enemy, it's your friend. Failure teaches you what not to do and in life, that's really helpful. It's easier to say what you should do rather than what you shouldn't. There are just so many grey areas in life. So, if you clear out a few isn't that fear worth saying goodbye to?

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  4. Toxic People

    No matter how much these people mean to you, it is way past due time to say buh-bye. These people don't deserve your time. There are other people out there who can give a much more meaningful and wonderful impact in your life. Having these people in your life just means that you don't love yourself enough to think that you deserve better people. There are other people out there who will at the very least not bring you down in life. Stop trying to save people who do not want to be saved. Focus on the people who can bring a positive impact in your life. Focus on the people who aren't burdens on your life. We know it can feel good to be that one reliable friend of theirs but if you continue being their rock then you yourself will turn into them. If you really want to help them out, let them learn how to live with themselves and not be the life-sucking leech to you. It is absolutely draining to have these people in your life. Aren't you tired yet?

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  5. Insecurities

    You are such a beautiful person and you don't need to be a supermodel to think you are. You don't need a thigh gap. You don't need on fleek eyebrows. You don't need to be 5'10. You don't need to be 100 pounds. All you need to be is a good person, one whose soul they can call beautiful. Physical beauty may catch the eye but a great personality is what makes that eye stay. Who cares that you don't look like that girl in the front page magazines? Stop comparing yourself to these people. They are made and paid to look like that. You are your own brand of beauty so stop being so hard on yourself. Also, don't be insecure about other people's talents. Don't feel jealous that they have abilities to do things you can't do because chances are you have something they don't. So what if they're smarter? You can be more creative. So what if she can dance circles around you? You can be the person who can cook her way into being a master chef. Everyone is born with a set of traits. There's a reason why you can't do the things she can. Instead of devoting your energy focusing on something you don't have, focus instead of what you can work with and improve. It is up to you to be better. I am encouraging you to embrace your own beauty but I also want you to know that there is always room for improvement. There's always space to add more beauty in your life. There is nothing wrong with that. Strive to be better but also value your own worth. You as yourself is already wonderful. The important thing is at the end of the day, you are happy with who you are.

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2016 is looking great so far. So don't be scared to shed off the things and people you no longer need. Trust me, you will gain 10 times the amount you lose. So go out there and begin facing new challenges, meeting new people, and ultimately creating the best year of your life so far. Happy New Year!

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About the author
Danielle Bernabe
Candymag.com Correspondent
Whether it’s through books, fashion, a plane, or my own imagination, I’m always on an epic adventure. Sure, I get lost quite a lot but hey it always makes a great story!
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM Danielle

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Bulletin
A community page where you can share your feels and show your skills! Learn more here

Hi. These are just my thoughts that I put into words during this quarantine. I also miss the beach so much so I'm attaching the photo I took during my last beach trip. Thanks and stay safe! ???? ----

Lately, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. You were happy and then you just found yourself feeling empty and lost the next day. Sometimes, it occurs all at once. All the aversion and the doubts, the frustration, the feeling of not feeling anything but sadness. It's all gonna drown you. And it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna question all that you're doing- if in any case, you're achieving anything or if you're succeeding with the path that you take. You wonder if you're now heading to the right direction or still lost and wandering. We all fight these kind of thoughts and struggles.

In life, you can never be happy and content at all times. All the broken pieces will remain to be broken. You're still gonna breakdown at some point; you're still gonna cry. But don't be hopeless. Even though life is throwing you with so many reasons to give up, please fight. Don't be hopeless. I'm gonna agree with you, if you'll say "it's not easy" But none of the things that are worthwhile in life is ever easy.

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I wish you well.

, Marj

Karen Mei Caro 2 hours ago

I know that right now, things are not okay. There's a deadly virus. You lost your job. You have no money and you have to pay your bills. You suddenly broke up with your boyfriend. You can't figure out what's going on. It's like you're facing blank walls and you're lost in a different world.

You are sad, confused and totally scared. But dear, you don't have to keep it all inside. You can talk about it. Telling your fears and troubles is not a bad thing. It's never wrong to be honest. It maybe frightening at first but it will make you feel better. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It took me a while to learn this. It was a complete struggle and I forced myself to believe that I was okay even if I was not.

For many years, I kept everything to myself. And it was very difficult to fight my battles alone. I even reached the point when I wanted to give up because I was already tired of all the fears, pains, rejections and disappointments. Until I have learned to accept that sometimes, things don't go our way. And it's okay to fail, to cry, to be different, to get angry, to feel negative emotions because it makes us human. Admitting that you're not okay and knowing that it's okay is your first step to healing.

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You don't have to be perfect. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Your mistakes and failures do not make you any less. And if you're going through a hard time, talk to people you trust. Remember that your feeling is valid, no matter what it is. So, don't be afraid to show your emotions. Nothing is wrong with that. That's what I did and it really helped me a lot. Think of the things that make you happy. Do them all over again. Choose to relax and appreciate everything that you have. And don't forget to pray. Life is beautiful, so, always take care of yourself.

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By: Jairus Gabriel A. Cardinoza

With the world suffering by crisis and chaos today, where everyone of us seems to be caged, may be in our home, in our thoughts, with our regrets, or even with someone whom we can never have, while sulking in our house with our home works and household choirs, there are those idle moments when I stop and stare into oblivion, I can’t help but to think about those moments where we are the happiest, or we are the most sad, we have our own highlights of our life, either our downfall or shortcomings, sometimes our triumphs, but how about those moments caught in between but played as much as important episode to those we remember the most?

Sometimes you can’t help but to think about those moments in between. We think that our life is built by big moments, but little do we realized how little they play in our lives, we barely even consider the little things, that made a huge impact in our lives, maybe it wasn’t about the medal you’ve got from winning an essay contest, but the stranger who let you borrow his/her pen because you forgot yours at home, maybe it wasn’t the brand new watch that your parents gave you as a present but the person that you saved unconsciously, asking you what time is it because he/she was worried he/she might be late for the class.

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Admit it, or not, we have all took those moments for granted, those moments when everything is in between. In times like this, where a crisis is on the midst, our mind often wanders elsewhere, there will always be that moments that the silence of our room will be filled by the cacophonies of our thoughts that strangle us in the subtle ways. The only solace we could find in this misery is sometimes our memories, not the big ones but those moments we once thought idle, who would have guess that the last time you drink your favorite coffee was a month ago, or the comfort of your favorite street you passed after school, hoping you could meet the person you want to talked to accidentally, the way you rush to the favorite fast food chain after a tiring day, hoping for a cone of ice cream, our life will always be built by these moments.

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There will always be something in between, that stiches two extremes into a one fine art, between love and pain, there is learning, the midnight always reminds us that yesterday is over but there is always a tomorrow waiting for us to rise, between our dreams and our failures, there is hope, the wisest person sometimes understand that life is a prism, it can blind us with all the colors and wonders of its side, but there is one source of light that made all those colors possible. Take a chance to be that light, that sees not only the parts that we hide, nor the highlights of our lives but those moments of everything in between.

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TITLE: Good night

It was the morning of May 5; I went to the ICU to take the morning shift. I peeked from the sliding door and saw a female doctor and 3 nurses probably making their rounds. Half asleep, I entered the room not realizing what was happening. I sat in front of my grandma’s bed, waiting for the doctors to leave. My aunt was crying from the corner of the room, I thought that perhaps my grandma was deteriorating. Then the monitor on the upper left part of the bed kept beeping, then the lady in white coat announced “time of death 8:50”.

Everything froze, I didn’t understand a thing. I saw my aunt hug our grandma so tight, shaking out of grief and desperation. I sat there frozen and speechless, it was so surreal I thought it was a dream. My sister who was sitting beside me took a few heavy steps towards grandma’s bed. She hugged our grandma and whispered words lost in between her sobs.

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When it was my time, I held her right hand, the hand I used to wipe and hold. It wasn’t cold, it was still warm, soft and wrinkly. The bruises from countless injections she endured. I pressed her hand trying to wake her up, more tears rolled when she wouldn’t respond. “Inang! Agriing kan a, bigaten!” (Granma wake up, it’s morning already) I wrapped my hands around her, she’s the same Inang I used to hug but this time she isn’t hugging me back. I tried to wake her up a couple more times more desperate than the last. I wanted to see those little eyes open again and look at me. I wanted her to ask me “apaya nakkong?” (why my dear?) once more. How about calling me miss Universe when she forgets my name. I loved her and will love her even if she calls me the wrong name.

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I still remember the night she held my hands so tight she said “ haan nak panpanawan a, ta nu matay nak ket haan ko nga maymaysa.” (Please don’t leave me so that if I die, I will not be alone “I hope I fulfilled my promise to her I hope she didn’t die lonely but happy. The room was enveloped with grief engraved in the cries we made but in the middle of the room, there she lies. She laid still, she looked so serene and peaceful. It looked like she was having a good nap. It was the first time in years that I saw her sleep so tight.

After all the restless nights she can finally sleep. I wiped my tears as I marvel the way she looked. It was a painful but beautiful sight. I wanted her to wake up but how could I ask that if she looked so peaceful now? After all the pain she endured she is finally resting. I couldn’t ask her to come back when I know she’s in a better place. She is free now, free from pain and suffering. I stop waking her up and held her hand tightly, in between my cries I bid goodbye. To my dearest Inang Nani, go on find the light. I know Tatang and Tito are waiting for your arrival. Rest well Inang, Good night.

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Loneliness that Turned into Beautiful Solitude

Are you one of those many people who experienced loneliness? The moment where you do not have someone else to rely on. Have you experienced it? Going home with a lot of thoughts running in your mind but no one was there to listen. Have you ever felt bad for yourself? In realizing that you were the only one left. When every one else was leaving. When most people around you have chosen others over you. Have you experienced the pain? The pain of being alone? A lot of people are afraid to be alone for various reasons. Some people says that they are just used to something that there is always someone out there for them. Someone who is always there. Someone who is always ready to accompany them in all. Someone who is always willing to stay. Stays in your best and most especially at your worst. While others simply do not have the courage to face the world of loneliness. I, experienced the pain of loneliness but gained a lot of benefit from it.

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Living alone is not a simple thing for me to do but for me to survive and acquire proper education, I have to. I have to learn to live alone. In living alone, I had face a lot of difficulties. I encountered a lot of problems that were made to be fixed by many but was able to get it fixed by myself. Yes it was hard, it is hard. It was never easy to begin with. There will be times or days that it can make you drain and cause you countless sleepless nights. Yes, it is painful. But we have to realize that in loneliness, we can also find peace in ourselves. The "YOU". The genuine "YOU".

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People are so afraid to experience loneliness. Most of us do not realize that with so much fear of being alone, we started to forget that good things come from being alone. As time pass by, I got used in solving problems by myself, I learned to live alone, I saw the "beauty of loneliness" that's how my loneliness slowly turned into beautiful solitude. As time passes by, I realized that there are a lot of good things that you can get in being alone. So, for those who are reading this, I hope you guys learn to appreciate the beauty of being alone.

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