5 Things Growing up Without a Father Taught Me

"We were once a picture of a perfect family but it all went crumbling down at some point."
by Nicka Cassandra Jerao   |  Aug 9, 2017
Image: Unsplash
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We were once a picture of a perfect family but it all went crumbling down at some point. There was once a man who I looked up to and now he's nowhere to be found.

Whenever I see a family at a restaurant, I would always think, "What went wrong?" There's always that tug in my heart then the hurt and envy would suddenly take over my mind and make me think for a moment, "Am I missing a lot because he isn't here?"

The answer is no.

After my father left us, I realized a lot of things, but that didn't stop me from enjoying life and cherishing every moment of it. I didn't limit myself from doing the things that I love. There's more to life than just sitting at a corner thinking of depressing memories of the past. 

They say that you should learn from your experiences and him leaving taught me a lot.

  1. I learned to defend myself.

I was at a point where I thought I had nobody to protect me, but I realized that I forgot the most important person in my life: me! I stood up for myself to people who pushed me around and treated me like I'm a nobody. I let them know my worth and how strong I am even without a father.

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  1. I learned that family should always be first.

I wouldn't be here and be this strong if it weren't for my family. My best shared moments in my life have been with my family. Having no father taught me to value my family and myself more.

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  1. I learned to live my life to the fullest.

I learned to enjoy every second, every minute, and every moment of it! Instead of thinking about what I didn't have, I spent my days with people who cared for me. I returned the love they have shown me.

  1. I learned to be fearless.

I became fearless enough to face life's challenges. I saw it from my mom who was the one who taught me that I shouldn't let anything or anyone bring me down. I saw her break down but I also saw her rise up.

  1. I understood the value of unconditional love.

I grew up with my grandparents. My mom was working abroad when I was growing up so my grandparents were the ones who guided and took care of me. Because of this, I had the chance to feel a whole different kind of love from them. Even without my father, my grandparents made me experience the kind of love I deserve.

It wasn't easy growing up without a father. There's no one there to protect you, to rely on for advice when you have your heart broken. I know it's tough for some but for me, I had my family. They are the most precious gift I've ever received. The love and support they gave were enough to fill the hole in my heart and make me feel complete. If there's anything I'm now sure of is that not having a father doesn't make me incomplete and unwanted. In fact, I am thankful because if my father didn't leave us, I wouldn't understand the value of love, loyalty, and time. I wouldn't be stronger than I was before and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the things his absence made me realize.


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Nicka Cassandra Jerao
Candymag.com Correspondent
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