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3 Ways You Can Stay Connected with Your Friends Even While You're in a Relationship

Don't be a stranger.
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TBH, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to take your friends for granted already. We know it's tempting to just spend every waking moment of your life with babe, but please don't ditch your best friends. They've been with you through thick and thin, and you've shared an amazing relationship!

So whether you're guilty of ditching your friends for the babe or you want to try and reconnect with your best friends, here are three ways you can start that right away!

  1. Initiate the planning.

Most friends expect that one friends get in a relationship, they'll be ditched to the sidelines. So instead of waiting for them to initiate all the planning for your next barkada date, start the planning yourself! Tell them you miss spending time with them and make an effort to set the date, time, and place for this. Yes, it will be hard to find a schedule that will work for all of you, but it will be worth it. Promise!

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  1. Don't bring your boyfriend to your barkada dates.

Unless, of course, you told them you're introducing babe to them and they said yes. Or unless he's a part of your barkada. Aside from the fact that it can get really awkward most of the time, your friends would want to tell you things that they can only share with you. If you bring babe with you, chances are, they won't be comfortable talking about their feelings or that they won't open up to you at all.

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  1. Ask them about their lives.

Sometimes, a simple "How are you?" will make their day. Knowing that a dear friend like you cares for them will brighten their mood and who knows, they might need it that day, too. Most of the time, when we get a boyfriend, even our online time is dedicated to messaging them and posting about them. But for a change, connect with your friends! This will help you understand them better and actually make them feel you still care about them even if you're happy and you're already enjoying life.

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Remember, Candy Girls, that it really doesn't have to be some big gesture. A simple hi and hello is a big thing, especially in this fast-paced world we live in wherein everyone brags about being sooo busy. The fact that you made time to actually talk to your friends will mean a lot to them.

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About the author
Ayessa De La Peña
Candymag.com Assistant Section Editor
I am Candymag.com's resident fangirl and ~*feelings*~ girl. When I'm not busy researching about what to write next on the website, I sleep, read books, and re-watch episodes of Friends.
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If you know me, and know me well, I am not the biggest fan of idyllic lifestyles. With a Type A personality, I act immediately upon whatever challenge that needs to be addressed. I actually enjoy keeping my mind preoccupied: doing university work in my favourite cafe then running errands around town, grocery shopping here, updating my accounts there, photocopying documents on the way down the street - all just in time before having a glass of champagne at the bar with my friends come evening.

And so, you could imagine my bewilderment when the next challenge to be faced was an extensive self-quarantine protocol. I didn’t know what to do when my greatest responsibility in this situation was to do nothing at all. My first few attempts to combat my consternation were very much rooted in distraction and imagination. My distractions involved conducting research, writing songs, calling family and friends, filming videos, and eating chocolate! My imaginations and fantasies were centred on travelling, shopping, even clubbing (which I rarely do) for when they find a cure to COVID-19. I did anything and everything that could be considered constructive in order to pass the time, mainly hoping I could just undertake the basic human necessities to survive - that is, eat and sleep the day through - until the next day comes, until the world is closer to becoming a better place, until quarantine ends, until my flight follows through, until I see my family and friends again.

Days in self-isolation and suspended flights turned to weeks and turned to months. By the third extension here in Spain where I study Fashion Business, I had to tell myself this shall be my new normal now, that I was blessed to be healthy, that I was tired of merely existing and missed what it was like to actually live - even if just within four walls. Little by little, I began to find significance in the simple occurrences of the day: the soft glare of the rising sun beaming golden streaks through my bedroom window upon waking up, the fragrance of freshly washed bed sheets that I had painstakingly hung to fit a relatively small clothes rack without crumpling them, the crunch and tanginess of warm toasted bread topped with raspberry marmalade, the buzzing sound of a phone call from home just waiting to be answered, to the caress of a fuzzy sweater to keep warm at night. I realised, “What pleasures to be enjoyed in the pause of slow living!” Through this continued pause, which I loathed at first, I began to appreciate each moment of the day rather than wish it would pass more swiftly, moments I had overlooked so often before the lockdown. I started to find that the challenge of self-isolation was never to pause both the regular routines of life as well as the positive emotions that came with these - as initially, I thought it meant to pause all happiness, so as to withstand a time of endurance in hopes for a better tomorrow, much like a form of delaying gratification. Life is just too fragile these days to delay gratification any further.

Life has paused, but it has not stopped. Believe that like any punctuation mark in a sentence, the pause will provide the right timing of things to take place. Till then, let us not waste our time waiting. Instead, we could be in the moment, seek substance in simplicity (that is, in what we already have), And enjoy the pleasure in pause. “Practice the Pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray.”

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