Public Service Advisory: We are not kidding whenever we complain about how painful periods are; it is really an uncomfortable time that makes it extra difficult to function. Just to give you a clearer picture of how it feels like, we have listed down the thoughts running through a girl's headwhile curled up on a bag of hot compress, sobbing her heartout. This is also to pay honor to every girl suffering from PMS right now; we got you!
- "Can I get stuffed crust pizza delivered at 2AM?"
"Or maybe a cheesecake and a burrito? I'll throw in a bucket of fried chicken too because 'counting calories' is a social construct and I can eat whatever the hell I want." *10 minutes later* "I am too lazy to pick up the phone, nvm." Before you smack yourself for breaking your diet, know that it is totally normal to want to inhale food at 70mph on red days. It happens.
- "Will everyone notice if I come to class wearing sweatpants?"
Your period is the culprit for making you feel too fat for every piece of clothing you own and it's also the one to blame when you get the sudden urge to burn down your entire closet. Giiirl, just wear whatever feels comfortable; the whole world (apparently everyone except guys) gets it.
- "Is 'death by cramps' a thing? I guess this might be it for me."
*calls mom to tell her just how much you love her* We know you feel like there are knives stabbing your insides but don't let cramps take down the strong woman that you are, you got this! Plus you can always "call a friend" a.k.a. pop meds to make the pain bearable.
- "Why am I crying over this shampoo commercial?"
*uncontrollable sobbing* "Someone has taken over my body. I AM NOT THE ONE TO WEEP OVER SHAMPOOCOMMERCIALS!" The week of your period will always involve involuntary crying episodes. This is why the universe gave you girl friends; go call them.
- "I. HATE. EVERYTHING."
"Why are people talking to me and breathing my air?" It's hard to be a needy emotional mess when you also happen to also hate having people around. Like, hello uterus, how is that even possible? A situation like this calls for our girl, Taylor Swift. Go put 1989 on repeat until everything gets better.
"Can I just sleep for five days straight?"
"I know there's a hundred percent chance that I'll wake up in a pool of my own blood but I am so tired and I just want this to end." "Sleeping Beauty slept through all her period cramps; so why can't I?" This is another reason why we have always dreamt of becoming Disney Princesses.
- "Why can't I just be a guy?"
"They don't have to go through so much pain; it is just so not fair." Just imagine how ~*carefree and fun*~ life will be if we didn't have a week of temporary insanity and emotional instability every month. We also want to know how it feels to be the one dropping those period jokes.
"How many more days until this is over?"
You say "Is it over yet?" every minute of everyday because you can't wait for the day when you can finally rock your white jeans. Plus your boyfriend can only take so much; he needs a break from your wrath too.
- "Why does everyone hate me?"
"Am I suddenly so unlovable because of this swollen pimple on the tip of my nose?" "Will my boyfriend replace me with someone who is not as bloated?" Your mind is just playing tricks on you. Remember that you are loved, even on days when you don't feel deserving of love.
- "Munchkin Kittens!"
*insert more sobbing* "SO CUTE I CAN'T EVEN." You'll wonder if it's normal to want to squeeze every Pug that you see on your feed; it is expected of you actually.