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10 Things Girls with Big Boobs Are Tired of Hearing

Time to make a clean breast of it.
IMAGE Columbia Pictures

As if struggling with your sports bra is not enough, you get to hear all these things about your boobs over and over, too. You people just stop, okay.

  1. "What's your cup size?"

You get this in varying tones: awed, envious, curious. This question used to make you want to shrink in embarrassment. Now you either reply nonchalantly or simply ignore them. Unless they're from the lingerie section, they don't need to know.

  1. "Your breasts are an asset!"

Yes, a big one.

  1. "Jump shot!"

You automatically oblige and suddenly your girls are airborne in all their glory. Then gravity hits and they fall back into place with a painful tug. Jump shots should be illegal.

  1. "Heavy duty"

You know you need all the support that you can get, but this phrase is just so… utilitarian. It makes you think of batteries for some reason. And blenders. And washing machines. It's strange how words work.

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  1. "Are they heavy?"

No. They have nothing to do with your slight hunch, nope, absolutely nothing at all.

  1. "It must be so hard to find clothes."

Hah, that's what they think! The men's department is an unexplored cave of wonders.

  1. "How do you exercise?"

Two words: Sports bra.

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  1. "Those are big/huge!"

Are they? You didn't notice.

  1. "They'll get smaller if you lose weight."

Just what exactly is this person trying to say?

  1. "You're lucky you've got boobs like that."

And you send the mammary gods a silent thank you for giving you your magnificent pair.

What are other comments about your boobs that you can't stand?

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Stephanie Jesena
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PRIMO.

First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis A day ago
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