Candy Feels

To the Boy I Fell Madly in Love with But Didn't Love Me Back

I felt really special because of the way you treated me.
PHOTO Elaine Villanueva

It's funny how we started as being next door friends who would just say hi to start the day and say bye to each other at the end of the day. We used to be just friends. We didn't even talk that much but there came a time you tried to contact me. You were trying to catch my attention. You were being sweet; I felt a bit happy knowing that someone admires me. We started talking. You were trying to tell me you like me but then in the end you tend to say it was just a "joke." I wasn't sure if it was true or you were just making fun of me. Days went by and we just continued to talk like normal friends but you showed me a hint that maybe you like me. Until there came a time where I told you we better be stop talking to each other because of my friends. I felt a bit sad because I got so close with you already. But at that time, I didn't feel anything for you. You told me you didn't want things to be awkward. You wanted us to stay friends and I agreed.

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After a week, I tried to talk to you once again, facing the fear that my friends would get mad if I did this, but I didn't hesitate. We started talking again; you were so sweet. You always made sure that I was safe, happy, and okay. You never wanted me to be sad. You would always check on me. There were times you'd flood me with messages because I fell asleep then you'd call me because you got worried. I felt really special because of the way you treated me.

Until such time you asked me if we could see each other even for just a few minutes. Finally, we got to spend time together and then all of a sudden there comes this friend of yours who introduced you to her friend. I'll admit I got jealous because I was starting to like you like already. The feels when that happened really hurt me. It felt like my world came crashing down. I wanted to go. I felt like crying deep inside but you told me not to. That happened and then things changed. We were slowly drifting apart. The you I met before wasn't the you I was talking to now. It felt like everything changed.

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You wouldn't send me those texts after class saying "take care." I barely see your name appear first in my phone. You weren't that sweet caring boy I met anymore. I got really hurt. My heart just broke seeing you hold your phone but I never got a single message from you. I felt like I was just your temporary happiness. I felt like you just used me. It hurt so bad. You gave me signs that you liked me but then all of a sudden you just left me hanging. What was that about? Was I just some kind of fling? You could've just told me you didn't love me. You never should've showed that you cared for me or that you loved me. I'm so amazed about how you got me with those sweet words. I thought you were there to catch me when I was falling but all you did was let me crash and burn.

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I thought you were there to catch me when I was falling but all you did was let me crash and burn.

I love you, I actually do. But it hurts me now hearing that you like someone else. It's funny how you just made me your option when she wasn't there. I never should've believe all those sweet words you gave me. Maybe now I should start moving on and begin the process of unloving you. I guess you weren't The Right Guy I deserved. Maybe God has better plans for me. Or maybe we weren't meant for this lifetime yet. I'm not really blaming you for the pain I'm feeling right now. I never should've assumed. But thank you for making me feel special even just for a short time. Thank you for showing care, love, and concern. But maybe for now, it's time to say goodbye. I hope you're happy with whom you chose over me. I hope she loves you as much as I did.

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