The Line We Must Not Cross, a Letter to All the Fangirls

We are here to support and not dictate their lives. As they shouldn't be dictating ours. We shouldn't be acting like we own them. Or that...they own us.
by Cryieng fangirl   |  Sep 12, 2017
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According to Gray, Sandvoss, and Harrington (2007), most people are fans of something. If not, they are bound to know someone who is. 

Everyone, in one way or another, has experienced being fascinated over something. No matter how big or small they are, and no matter how relevant or not they seem to be for other people. So, how about you? Do you think your fascination with your favorite celebrities (or books, bands, movies, etc.) is irrelevant? Some people would say yes but you really don't have to agree with them. You're you. You experience things they way you do. Your interpretations of these experiences are different from theirs. So own it if you have to.

Being a fangirl is truly a great experience. You will learn a lot from the subject of your fascination. Other than that, you feel things too. You laugh, cry, and smile with them. Sometimes you even feel the way your favorites do. More often than not, you think of them. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing. As cheesy as it sounds, they're almost always inside your head. And it's okay.


We, fangirls, grow with our favorites. We get better as they get better. We stand and we fall and stand tall again. With them. Over the years (or months), our 'love' for them became so strong that we became so attached to them as if they were our boy/girlfriends. But they also get attached to us. It's us and them and them and us. A perfect combination. Even better than true love.

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However, some of us actually forget that there's a very thin line that separates us from our favorites. It's so thin that it might break anytime. One wrong move, it'll be the end of everything. Remember, too much of anything isn't good. We get to love them, yes, but being a fan is all we can do. One must remember that we are 'fans'. Nothing more, nothing less. We are here to support and not dictate their lives. As they shouldn't be dictating ours. We shouldn't be acting like we own them. Or that...they own us. They own themselves as we own ourselves. Never forget that.


Be a fan but know where you stand. Cheer as loud as you want, cry as hard as you want, laugh as much as you want, and smile as much as you can. That's the fangirl life. It's how we live.

And if people are judging you, just let them. Remember: they're not you. They don't experience things the way you do. There are certain things in life that no one else can fully understand the way you do.

If being a fan of someone (or something) makes you happy, do it. But if it's toxic for you, take time to reflect. What's making it difficult? Is it consuming you? The fangirl life is never easy. You will witness lots of hate, not just for your favorites but also for you. But you have to live with it because contrary to popular belief, the fangirl life didn't choose you. You did it yourself. And more than anything else, even if you've lost hours of sleep because of your favorites, or that you only ate siomai for dinner so you can buy their albums (or concert tickets!), or you've crammed to finish your school work, it's okay. It's okay because it's worth it. Your favorites may not know you, but deep down in their hearts, they acknowledge you. It's also love, don't you think? It may not be the kind that lets you hold their hand or kiss them but fan love is still something special. But, again, remember the line you shouldn't cross. That line you must not cross will either break you or your favorites or both. And you don't want that. And they don't want that, too.


So good luck with your fangirl endeavor. Enjoy as much as you can. After all, we only live ones to see the light. The light we call our idols.

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