Candy Feels

How to Stay Authentic in the Age of Social Media

We pretend, we lie, and we manipulate on social media.
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We spend a large amount of time grooming, editing, and transforming our facades. We make sure our faults and shortcomings are buried deep into the ground—as if they never existed. We create a false image of ourselves that are heavily inspired by the very person we want to be seen as. We display everything sweet, never the bitter. We post about gold, but never about silver.

We display everything sweet, never the bitter. We post about gold, but never about silver.

We build our foundations on social media. We form our facades through our posts, tweets, and well-curated feeds. These facades show depth and meaning but are created by our mere shallowness. We use our time to create a facade that will triumph all first impressions and will perfectly shape how we want to be perceived by the world. We craft and create lies that we want others to believe.

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For the sake of self-respect, this needs to stop. We shouldn't prioritize the facades of our buildings but spend our lives on improving our interiors. We begin to familiarize ourselves with other people's lifestyles as we become strangers to our own.

We begin to familiarize ourselves with other people's lifestyles as we become strangers to our own.

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To avoid these ways, remember these 3Ls in your head. The guide to authenticity online...and offline.

  1. Learn about yourself.

Learn about your real dreams, interests, goals, and who you really are. Take time to discover the layers that make up who you are. Disconnect from all your social media platforms and connect to the different wonders that the world has to offer. Try something new once in awhile for the chance of awakening an interest or a talent you never thought you had. When you truly know who you are, you are able to project an authentic image of yourself to the world.

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When you truly know who you are, you are able to project an authentic image of yourself to the world.

  1. Live by originality.

Create only what's real and what's yours. A lot of the things we see online are fake and unreal and there are very few who live by being true to themselves.

Your challenge is to make sure everything that you post is 100% you. Everything you show on social media has to revolve around that truth and nothing but that truth. Online, people take advantage of the freedom they have to create someone entirely different from who they actually are. You go distances to find ideas but the truth is you don't need to find them, you have the ability to create them. Don't go too far to look for originality; that comes from within.

Don't go too far to look for originality; that comes from within.

  1. Love your mistakes and imperfections.

Accept that there are bumps on the road in the journey of being who you want to be. The key to loving your mistakes is to not take shortcuts. Shortcuts exist and they do make life easier but they don't always produce the best output. Taking the long road has its highs and lows that will definitely introduce you to your faults—but trust that they will make you better. Experiencing your shortcomings is one step closer to accepting them. Knowing that they exist and that you are capable of making mistakes will give you the humility you need in life. So don't fake perfection.

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So don't fake perfection.

It's easy to seem perfect online because of how you can manipulate your posts into looking like you have no faults, but you should accept that you are a human being and imperfections are what make you stronger.

Remember to walk on your path as your own person and not as someone else. You are an intricate design of God; don't simplify yourself to the shallow glory o the world.

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PRIMO.

First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis 7 hours ago

If you know me, and know me well, I am not the biggest fan of idyllic lifestyles. With a Type A personality, I act immediately upon whatever challenge that needs to be addressed. I actually enjoy keeping my mind preoccupied: doing university work in my favourite cafe then running errands around town, grocery shopping here, updating my accounts there, photocopying documents on the way down the street - all just in time before having a glass of champagne at the bar with my friends come evening.

And so, you could imagine my bewilderment when the next challenge to be faced was an extensive self-quarantine protocol. I didn’t know what to do when my greatest responsibility in this situation was to do nothing at all. My first few attempts to combat my consternation were very much rooted in distraction and imagination. My distractions involved conducting research, writing songs, calling family and friends, filming videos, and eating chocolate! My imaginations and fantasies were centred on travelling, shopping, even clubbing (which I rarely do) for when they find a cure to COVID-19. I did anything and everything that could be considered constructive in order to pass the time, mainly hoping I could just undertake the basic human necessities to survive - that is, eat and sleep the day through - until the next day comes, until the world is closer to becoming a better place, until quarantine ends, until my flight follows through, until I see my family and friends again.

Days in self-isolation and suspended flights turned to weeks and turned to months. By the third extension here in Spain where I study Fashion Business, I had to tell myself this shall be my new normal now, that I was blessed to be healthy, that I was tired of merely existing and missed what it was like to actually live - even if just within four walls. Little by little, I began to find significance in the simple occurrences of the day: the soft glare of the rising sun beaming golden streaks through my bedroom window upon waking up, the fragrance of freshly washed bed sheets that I had painstakingly hung to fit a relatively small clothes rack without crumpling them, the crunch and tanginess of warm toasted bread topped with raspberry marmalade, the buzzing sound of a phone call from home just waiting to be answered, to the caress of a fuzzy sweater to keep warm at night. I realised, “What pleasures to be enjoyed in the pause of slow living!” Through this continued pause, which I loathed at first, I began to appreciate each moment of the day rather than wish it would pass more swiftly, moments I had overlooked so often before the lockdown. I started to find that the challenge of self-isolation was never to pause both the regular routines of life as well as the positive emotions that came with these - as initially, I thought it meant to pause all happiness, so as to withstand a time of endurance in hopes for a better tomorrow, much like a form of delaying gratification. Life is just too fragile these days to delay gratification any further.

Life has paused, but it has not stopped. Believe that like any punctuation mark in a sentence, the pause will provide the right timing of things to take place. Till then, let us not waste our time waiting. Instead, we could be in the moment, seek substance in simplicity (that is, in what we already have), And enjoy the pleasure in pause. “Practice the Pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray.”

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