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From Our Readers: You Will Learn How to Trust Slowly
I'll slowly get over this.
PHOTO Sofia Andres | instagram.com/iamsofiaandres ART Clare Magno

I figured out that I have a lot of issues with myself. Recently, I realized that I have been sharing my "for only me" thoughts to some of my friends, and I don't know if that's a good idea or not. Somehow, that relieved me. I can say that I am getting some satisfaction by doing so.

Talking about the voices in my mind is difficult for me. Though I have friends to share it with, I still find it difficult to trust someone with my secrets and my perceptions in life, big or small. Whenever I feel like talking to them about my crush, for example, I feel a bit hesitant about telling them about my feelings. My mind always says, "What if they don't care about that? What if I'll just annoy them?" However, I always end up telling them because I want them to know if they are trustworthy.

I feel a bit hesitant about telling them about my feelings. My mind always says, "What if they don't care about that? What if I'll just annoy them?"

Now, things are a little different. I am slowly learning to trust people, but it seems that the universe wants to make me take a step back. Do I get a punishment for hardly trusting someone? Well, yeah, maybe. It's going back to me, I can feel it. Some of my friends find it arduous to trust me. I have no idea why. And I hate that feeling; I loathe being left out, maybe because I'm tired of being shut out. Am I not trustworthy? Or maybe it's the universe's way of saying that I should trust my friends so that I'll get that in return? Trust begets trust, right?

To my friends, I'm sorry for being that type of person. I don't know what has gotten into me, but please do understand me. Trust is earned. I just don't know why I'm having trust issues, maybe from past experiences. Please know that if you feel like telling me one of your secrets, I am more than willing to listen. If you want us to talk about it all day, then don't be reluctant to inform me.

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For me, the process of trusting is burdensome. Back in the past, I came to a point where I trusted no one and that makes me sad. The thoughts in my head are killing me, so I feel like I need to discuss them. Telling someone about my thoughts alleviates my harsh self. 

Maybe I'm just a devotee of reciprocation, so forgive me if I'm thinking in a way that everything must be requited.

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