I don't know if this is too cliché, maybe it is. I'm not good at expressing myself thoroughly about this matter but I just need to get this feeling off my chest.
Each of us has that one guy friend that just gets us. It all started when I was confined in a hospital for two days. My beset friends, including him, visited to check up on me. My friends started talking about his crushes and told me that I was one of them. But when I got the chance to tease him about his crush, he told me it was just a joke; it wasn't true. He even told me that she was just her friend like me.
At first, I really didn't care. But I felt disappointed somehow. I don't know if it's for my best friend who liked him, too, or for me. But something happened one midnight while we were talking. We started to give each other nicknames. He even sends me messages with kiss emojis, which could be normal I guess. I did the same thing for him just for fun, just for a game, just for the heck of it.
But maybe I lost that game? I tried not to put so much meaning into what he was doing. I'm scared and I'm scared to fall in love. I'm scared because of a lot of things. I'm scared that it will just distract me from my studies. And I'm also scared to be friendzoned. We're best friends and I guess that's all there is to us. He probably isn't interested at all. Besides, my best friend likes him, too, but that's another story.
I'm scared that it will just distract me from my studies. And I'm also scared to be friendzoned. We're best friends and I guess that's all there is to us. He probably isn't interested at all. Besides, my best friend likes him, too, but that's for another story.
But I can't deny that I like it when our barkada tells us that they feel out of place whenever we're together. We're always talking and we're wrapped up in our own little world whenever we're together. Now I don't know if I still like him, because I really don't like one-sided crushes or one-sided love affairs. It's the most painful feeling in the world. And I'm also afraid to pour my whole heart into it because I don't have any experience in relationships. I just read stories about it and listen to my friends' advice.
Maybe someday, I'll know the answers to all my questions. Maybe someday, I will stop wondering, too—about whether I like him or not, and about what love's all about.
And someday, maybe my boy best friend will know. But I hope, honestly, that he'll like me, too—not just as a best friend but as someone special. I know that he's happy now and that someone gives him those smiles and laughter. Maybe I'm not the reason behind it as well. But I just want him to know that that girl's really lucky to have him.