Candy Feels
From Our Readers: You Showed Me the World
You showed me the world, both how beautiful and tragic it could be.
PHOTO MCA Music ART Clare Magno

I still remember the day I met you. I remember always having you by my side. The world was a little more different, but it made sense. The sky was more blue than it has ever been. I could feel ocean waves crashing against my chest, and stars exploding in my mind. I took note of everything.

Finding you was like finding cash in one of the pairs of jeans I haven't used in a long time. It felt like a sigh of relief after realizing that you are not actually late for class. It felt like watching the meeting of the sun and the moon for the first time ever. It felt like looking for a long lost friend, then finally seeing them; finally you found them!

Finally, I found the missing piece of my puzzle. I have never felt so fascinated and comfortable at the same time. I believed that the universe had conspired for us to meet. I strongly believed that our paths were meant to cross.

Knowing and loving you completely changed me. What was black and white became full of vivid colors, spilling over to the edges. I love the way you made me feel again, when all I wanted was to feel nothing at all. I felt like a wilting flower sitting in a vase and you were the water that revived me. I had a reason to get up in the morning, looking forward to your "good morning" texts every time I do. I appreciated living in the same day and age as you are. I was the happiest I could ever be.

But I learned that things aren't always meant to be. You were my universe but perhaps to you, I was just a star. Our paths crossed but that doesn't mean one of us would stay here forever. I'm not really sure if I wasn't enough or if I was too much. I was so blinded by how much I loved you that I didn't see the clear vision that you didn't feel the same. I gave in too much effort while you gave almost none at all. I was hung up with the idea of falling in love with someone. I really thought you were the one for me. I still do.

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You were my universe but perhaps to you, I was just a star.

I knew you weren't coming back. You left a mess. You were a hurricane and I am the result of the disaster. The world came to life when you came around. Now that you left, all of it feels bland once again. I feel incomplete. How is it possible that you are my disease and my cure at the same time? The sky was grey, black, and white. The waves drowned my heart and the stars have burned my mind. 

How is it possible that you are my disease and my cure at the same time?

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