I hope you're doing good and feeling happy every day. I know how much you hate any form of drama but here I am, writing another letter for you, anyway. It's been 14 years since the day you decided to work abroad. It's been 14 years and still counting. How many more years are we going to wait until you come back? Twenty or 30? I don't know and no one can tell, not even you.
When you left me, I was so young and innocent. I didn't care when you left. All I wanted to do back then was to play non-stop. I was even mean that time because you were disturbing me while I was playing. I can't remember if I hugged you or kisssed you but I know that didn't even bother crying like you. But as I grew up, I realized how much it hurts to see you leaving while you're crying and waving your hand, to feel your farewell hugs and kisses, and to hear your goodbyes and I Love Yous.
I just wish I can turn back time. I wanted to change how I reacted that day. I will hug you so tightly. I will kiss you. I will say I love you again and again. And I will cry and cry and beg you to stay.
It's very hard living my life without a mom beside me especially now that I'm a teenager. This is the time of my life when I really need a mom to guide me, to support me, to cheer me up, and to wipe my tears every time I'm in pain. Other children are so lucky and blessed because they have their moms with them yet they don't appreciate them. I just wish I was one of those children.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for providing me the things I need and for giving me the things I want. Thank you for giving me advice eveytime I'm broken. Thank you for all your hardwork and suffering. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for not giving up on me and for not forgetting us. Thank you for your endless love and care.
I am also sincerely sorry. I am sorry for all the things I have done wrong. Sorry for being spoiled and mean. I'm so sorry for being not good enough. I am sorry for trying my best but it's still not enought and maybe it's never going to be enough. I am so sorry for not appreciating any of your efforts. I am so sorry if you can't understand me. I am so sorry for not being perfect.
God knows how much I want to hug you and see you big time. God knows how hard I am trying to make you proud. And God knows how much I love you, Mommy. I may not be a perfect daughter, but you will always be the best mother ever in the whole wide world.