From Our Readers: You are My Boy Version
I can still remember how we met. Remember when you entered the room while we were having rehearsals? I know we looked at each other through the mirror because that's the reason why your friend introduced us to one another and jokingly teased us. I figured that you were the shy type because you didn't even talk to me after that.
But then you sent me a message on New Year's. Since then, we started texting each other. I felt so comfortable talking to you. Even though we just met, you totally understood me. You got all of my sarcasm and you never got mad when I disagreed with you or I was being moody. We had the same taste in music. One of your churchmates even told me that we were alike in so many ways. It took me some time before I realized it was true.
I have trust issues that's why at first, I didn't trust you. But even though I didn't trust you, you still told me your problems. I admired you because of that. I trusted you in return with mine because that's what friends do, right? Since then whenever we had problems, we talked to each other.
We almost talked every day—from morning to midnight and yet we never ran out of things to talk about. Our friends started to tease us but we just ignored them. I ignored them because I knew we were just friends.
But something unexpected happened: I fell for you but sadly, you fell for someone else.
I knew that because you told me. I was actually expecting it to be me but I guess, that's impossible. I supported you. I gave you advice. I comforted you when you were sad that she's leaving for college, and I was even the one who convinced you to confess your feelings for her. I was supporting you even though it was tearing me apart. I was breaking but I still supported you because you're my friend, my best friend—and friendships last forever.
There was a time when you asked me who my special someone is. I wanted to say it's you, but I can't. I'm afraid that our friendship will change or worse, it will end. I treasure our friendship too much that's why I told you that I didn't like someone right now. You joked about how not liking you won't give me stress.
I'm afraid that our friendship will change or worse, it will end. I treasure our friendship too much.
You raised my hopes up. You made me hope that maybe there can be an us. And yet you always told me stories about the girl you like. I can hear the happiness in your voice. It was covering the sound of my shattering heart. My friends told me that maybe you like me but I know it's impossible. Still, I wanted to ask you if this is all we'd ever be? Is it really impossible? Or we're just waiting for one of us to confess?
I told them some things about you and they said that I should stay away because you're making me fall for you without the intention of catching me. I still took your side. I explained that it's just how you talk to people. They said that I should confess my feelings because it might be mutual, but I don't have the guts and my pride is stronger than my feelings.
I'm okay being your best friend. I'm okay being the one who knows all of your secrets. I'm okay being the one who you can talk to about your problems. I can't do anything about it anyway.
Don't worry about me. These stupid feelings will fade away eventually. I'm slowly accepting that this is all we'll ever be—friends. I really thought you were the one, but I guess you're just my Mr. Almost. Maybe everything was meant to be this way.
"There are three types of soulmates: the one you're destined to be with, the one you'll pass by on the road without knowing each other, and the one you'll be friends with but not meant to be to be with."
I guess we're the third one. But I'm happy that I met you—408 days and more heartbeats to count.