That time was the first time I moved to a new school. I had no idea what to do in this huge place full of unfamiliar faces. No barkada to automatically stick with, no recognizable places, no favorite teachers. It was just me in this new school, in this new place.
I can see all of my batchmates laughing with their own friends, talking loudly and excitedly to each other. There were a few boys fooling around. Everyone was just having fun. It was the start of the school year, after all. Everyone's spirits were up. Yet I am here looking at my phone, pretending like I had something better to do or someone better to converse with.
Last academic year, this sounded like a new idea. I even bragged about it. I wanted so much to leave my old school, thinking that this would be a fun new experience for me. Now, all of a sudden, here I am eating all my words.
How I wish all of my noisy classmates, my barkada, my favorite teachers were all here with me. I miss the narrow hallways, the small canteen, the rough school grounds, the hot classrooms, all the things I never thought I'd even remember when I get to this big school.
Would I regret this choice? Would I be sad that I chose to be here? Would I feel bad about literally begging my mom to transfer me here even if it meant having to pay a more expensive tuition?
Right now, I don't really know. I would try to take in all this and I hope one day I can manage to adjust. I hope one day, this school will give me fond memories too. And of course, I hope that it'll teach me a lot—not only academically but also about life in general.
To the girls who are feeling the same way, don't feel bad. It's not that you're not friendly enough to have a lot of friends like the other transferees, but maybe your old school, old friends, old classmates raised the bar so high that you don't know how to feel that comfortable in your new environment in an instant. For now, let's try to face this together. I'm sure you'll do great. Wish me luck, too.