Candy Feels

From Our Readers: Try Not to Love Him, Not Yet

Spare him the details, spare yourself from hurt.
PHOTO Park Shin Hye | instagram.com/ssinz7 ART Naomi Torrecampo

I know a part of you wants to spare him the details, another part wants to tell him everything. But please, pause. Breathe. Think. Feel. Please try not to tell him that this is your first time, that this is a foreign feeling. Try not to tell him that your heart is fragile, safely kept from things that might break it, a bit cold and hard from years and years of holding back.

Try not to tell him that your mind paints its dark skies with cloudy shades of pastels, light and soft and beautiful, at every sight of his smile, the one that brings out the tiny dimples on his cheeks.

Try not to tell him that you speak of him in feathery words, in poetry and prose, at the back of an old notebook, gentle and warm at midnight when you're alone.

Try not to tell him that the walls of your room echo his favorite song, that the ceiling is witness to your daydreams and longing, that the floor catches you every time you fall for him.

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Try not to tell him that you read between his words, hoping for first signs of spring, patiently and slowly waiting for the right ones that you hear only in made up scenes. Please try not to tell him that you've been waiting for too long.

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Try not to tell him that you see past the times he forgot you exist in the same room, alone with your thoughts and same old self.

Try not to taste the metal on your tongue when he passes by without saying hello, headed somewhere you don't know, leaving a trail of scent that smells like him, so familiar yet gone so easily.

Please try not to tell him that you miss him: the way he puts his left hand on his nape when he's embarrassed, how he looks away in deep thought, his hearty laugh, his eyes that are the color of coffee, that one time when he accidentally brushed his arms against yours inside a crowded elevator, his small rounded handwriting, his white shirt that fits him perfectly, his singing voice. The list goes on. But please, pause. Breathe. Think. Feel.

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Try not to tell him that you hide parts of yourself inside drawers, underneath the sheets, at the other side of the door, at the back of an old receipt; that you miss parts of your old self, too—the kinder one, the one who believed in pixie dust, magic.

Please try not to tell him that you watch his life virtually in squares and how you wish you could fit in that frame someday.

Please try not to tell him that you love him but not yet. Please, spare him the details, spare yourself from the hurt. Because deep down you know that he screams quietly, so clear and sure, for you to try not to love him yet.

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Why our high school barkada is the best?

Remembering our high school years entails quite a lot reminiscing of the things we all been through when we were younger. You’ve experience a lot of new things during those 4 wonderful years and did most of them with the few people you consider your barkada. And through a series of all the lunch breaks you had together, the walks you took on the way home, and taking the same classes, you never thought you’d survive, you have made your life’s greatest friends.

Here are some of the reasons why your high school barkada is the best:

1. You figured out early teenage life together. The transition one have undergone from being a kid to a teenager wasn’t easy. For a moment you are not sure whether you should have played with your friends during recess or you should have just sat down and ate your food because you were too old for games. But whatever it is you chose to do, having friends who were as clueless as you make everything feel easier because you know, deep down, you’d figure things out eventually. You just need good company.

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2. They were with you during your “jeje“ days. I bet you have pictures taken with Camera360 and Retrica. You also have pictures edited using Pizap with embarrassing captions and you somehow kept some of them so you could have something to post online during their birthdays.

3. They know all your exes. They will never EVER forget the name of an ex-boyfriend, an ex-fling, an ex-crush, and an almost you had. They will remind you of your every questionable love decision but you’ll just laugh anyway while saying “Past is past”.

4. They never judge you. They have welcomed you to their lives when you thought jelly shoes and checkered polos were the bomb! They were quick to have told your teachers that you were not feeling well so you could go home when you really just needed to poop. You tell them every embarrassing story you have and were fine with it.

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5. You can always count on them. From the moment you first fell in love and the moment you first had your heart broken, they were with you. They were with you the moment you lost a parent and at moments when you thought you had nothing. Through every break-up and breakthrough, they were there to be your support system.

6. They are your family. Your high school friend’s family is your own family’s extension. Their parents are like your own. Don’t you feel a little kilig whenever your friend’s parents call you “anak”? And then eventually calling them mama and papa became so natural? I felt that, all the time.

7. They will always be your home. They are your place of refuge and security, the place who offers you their hands when you feel lost and the place you run to when you need saving. No matter how much time and distance separate you, they will be the one’s that you always long for and they are the one’s that you will always return to.

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Hi, my sister sent me this link :)

I would like my vlog to be featured in Candy! I believe that if my vlog gets featured in Candy, I will be able to help more aspiring med students! I made this a Youtube vlog just like three weeks ago. So far, I have been receiving messages that they find my med school videos informative! My vlog focuses on med school tips :) So far, these are my content:

Check out the Med School Interview tips I have for UPCM, St. Luke’s, UERM, and ASMPH here: https://youtu.be/lnxqhIktcIM

Check out what’s in my Med Kit for ward works here: https://youtu.be/FbiyerNMkJ4

If you haven’t watched Hospital Playlist, let us tell you why you should watch it here: https://youtu.be/mDOcM-Jd1e8

Do you have any Med School Worries? Watch this! Candy Cutie Eljohn Yee might have answered it:

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Part 1 https://youtu.be/x6M74Gyx0G4 and Part 2 https://youtu.be/-a7HyrkJS80

Wanna know more about UPCM Intarmed? Click here: https://youtu.be/XnKtPxQYIkg

Thank you! Hope we can both work together to inspire med students :)

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Leslie Lim A day ago
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