I still remember the time we met on a dating app and I realized what a small world it was! Who would've thought our families actually knew each other—out of all the people in this world. It was crazy! And from then on, we started getting to know each other. From phone calls every night to endless texts sent, not a day passed without you. It became a part of my daily life, until suddenly, everything disappeared.
All the bliss I've felt during the time I spent with you gave me a cold realization; while everything was dreamlike for me, it was nothing deep to you. I felt so special with you but you never opened up about us the way I was hoping. Before I knew it, we never communicated with each other anymore—no more calls and no more texts. And the worst thing is, fate seems to agree. Even with the same circle of friends, we've never seen each other anymore.
I think he liked me in a way.
Isn't that strange? Not being sure of a person's feelings for you. But I guess that was always the scenario with me and you—full of uncertainties and maybes. The kind of relationship you see in couples who are not official but could be in the future. And it's hard. Being in love with a boy who might only think of you as a friend or a partner in crime or worse, a younger sister.
But still, if you only sees me as a friend or a partner in crime or a sister, then I have no choice but to treat you the same and hang on the hope that someday, my love for you would evaporate like water dancing in the wind.
We spent so much time together talking to each other, but we weren't dating. I guess that only means one thing: we were, are, and will always be nothing. I don't know what happened to us though. For a few weeks, I really struggled to understand why we went from being so close to nothing. For a few weeks, it hurt to think of you losing interest in me. It hurt to not see your name pop up on my phone like it did every single day for the past three months.
We weren't friends, but we weren't together. We were close, but not close enough. We spent so much time together, but we weren't dating. I guess that only means one thing: nothing.
I don't regret having a crush on you or liking you the way I did, because you taught me that I am capable of doing a lot of things, you taught me that I am capable of trusting again, and capable of letting someone else in my life. You really taught me a lot of things. You taught me to be more adventurous, to enjoy life, and to have time for myself even if it's just a bit. You taught me to see myself in a way that I can't see me.
You taught me to believe, trust, and have faith in God more and more each day. You taught me to read and live by His word and you taught me to wait for His timing. You taught me to believe that God will send the one our souls yearn for when the time is perfect. One thing is for sure, everything didn't happen the way I pictured it. But I don't have any regrets. The whole thing was definitely a bliss full of uncertainties. And for that, I will always thank you for coming into my life.