From Our Readers: To the Girl Who Thinks She's Not Good Enough
"There's this girl. She's smart and witty. She's funny as hell. She's sexy and smart, and I'm trying my best not to look like an idiot in front of her."
"There's this girl. She's in my class. I want to talk to her, but I don't even know how."
"There's this girl. I saw her from across the room at a party. I got her number and I can't really text her because I'm not sure what to type."
"There's this girl. She's gorgeous. Her smile can light up a room like all the stars and the sun combined."
There's this girl. But she's not you. She was never you. And you're sure you know why.
You're a "Not As"—an entire list of "not as" qualities that fit into a single girl.
You're not as tall as that girl who plays volleyball, that girl who has legs for days. You're not as smart as the girl who gets the highest grades and aces every single subject she takes without even trying. You're not as funny as the girl who has the whole class laughing at a single side comment. You're not as witty as the girl who always has a quick comeback. You are not as flirty as the girl who knows what to say to a guy who says she's cute. You're not as friendly as the girl everyone says hi to. You're not as active as the girl who belongs to 10 organizations and a sorority. You're not as cultured as the girl who's well-traveled, that girl who can speak more than two languages.
You're not as creative as the girl who can paint and and do spoken word. You're not as talented as the girl who can dance hip hop, sing ballads, or recite powerful monologues. You're not as eye-catching as that other girl who wears the same shirt and jeans as you. You're not as interesting as the girl who knows how to speak French and Star Wars inside out. You're not as exciting as the girl who goes out all night and spends her days hiking or climbing mountains. You're not as fun as the girl who's invited to everything. You're not as sexy as the girl who works her butt off in the gym. You're not as dedicated as that same girl either.
You're not as amazing. You're not as attention-grabbing. You're not that girl. They're just two words that make up a phrase that doesn't even qualify as an adjective. It's a diminutive.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
It's cliché to stop someone from comparing themselves to other people. It's what you do best. Someone else is always more, is always an *insert adjective*-er. Someone else is always always, always that girl and you know exactly who she is. You know what people say about her. Her Facebook likes and Instagram followers say it all. Even those tiny trivial things matter, because she's that girl.
It's as if all you were ever born to hear was that you're okay. You're fine. You're alright. You're the middle of something. Too much of one thing and not enough of the other. Just about but not quite. You're never an extreme and it's like that's a bad thing.
"She is more," people tell you. As if you were a benchmark that people constantly pass. As if you were meant to set the standards for mediocrity. As if you were supposed to be that before girl that people never settle to be.
You're not as fair-skinned, but you're not as morena as someone else. Your height is fine, but your legs are not as shapely as hers. Your smile is okay but not as bright as hers. Your ideas are cute, but not as inventive as hers. You're not as informed, not as inspired, not as interesting.
You're girly, but not as much as she is. You're a movie buff, but not as much as she is. You're a good cook, but not as much as she is. You're a not as. But who says she isn't either?
There's this girl. She's not as quirky as you. She's not as petite as you. She's not as curvy as you. She's not as animated as you. She's not as introverted as you. She's not as in love with romantic comedies and ice cream as you. She's not as obsessed with makeup tutorials or new books. She's not as lazy as you. She's not as random as you. She's not as unfiltered as you. She's not you.
She's just that girl. She's a "not as," just like you.
And maybe that's not enough for you now. To be a not as or to see someone else as a not as. But as far as you're concerned, you being a not as is enough for someone. You're just not as ready as you will be in a few years from now, maybe not as ready as you will be a few months or a couple days from the moment you're reading this.
But here's the thing, you're not as a "Not As" as you thought you were. You're so much more. Even too much more. You're a little bit less. And that's okay.
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
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This is a drawing and a poem I’ve made for a summer love. Our time together was short-lived but the feelings were not.
On a platform we stand
Faces seen all in a blur
Relentless searching led by a spur
To find someone, to feel something
Aren’t we fools to waste away time?
To look for one man’s treasure
Somewhere as ephemeral, as fragile
As a bond built in crime
But aren’t we just like every weary heart?
Hoping for an oasis
In the midst of the desert
Wanting to quench our thirst
Aren’t we all like frosted windows
Of old and battered houses on winter?
Wishing for the sun to give us warmth
To melt the facade so we can show what the inside is made
Aren’t we maven pretenders?
A Casanova? A Temptress? Who made us this way?
A sly fox? A ruthless hunter?
Let down the walls, It’ll be okay
Rushed for a hug, now no hesitating
Engulfed by a sense of bliss or was it longing? Eyes wide-open,
Stepping on a quicksand I embraced the fall into the deep end
Gazed at you lying there unaware With you, found something rare I swear
Realization dawning as loud as a thunder
As the Beating of your heart put me into a deep slumber
Waking up from this reverie
Truth slapped me back to reality
Two worlds so different, now I see If only I could I’d be anything and anyone you need me to be I’m the ludicrous clown, you see
Thought if I ruin it first I’d be free
From the doubts brought by my own insecurity I was so wrong,
What a tragicomedy Brought by the month of April
We rushed the ticking of clock to May Hands interlocked
Weaved skin to skin on a rainy day But when June came to say hello, all went dark grey
What was once there ceases to exist Like the wilting of a flower
Once so beautiful, so full of life Now turned into dust by death’s kiss
Unbounded joy brought by your presence
Paralleled with the perennial ache of your absence Yearned for and offered seventh heaven
Now the heart weeps for evanescence
A mirage, to be the fair maiden The sorrow to find out I’d end up our own villain
But all’s well for you are but a distant dream Gamaliel, You are, I knew it from the very beginning .
Written by me, the one-shot story
Coffee is about a girl who used to cherish moments with someone in a cafe. Sometimes, a simple drink can leave an imprint on someone's mind. ____________________________________________
It's been a year since my boyfriend and I broke up. I love him and he loves me too but things just didn't worked the way it should be. Now I'm heading at the cafe where we started and ended. I have no choice but to go there after all it was made up of both happy and sad memories. But that's life , right? We can't be happy all the time. Challenges come and hearts can break. But it doesn't just end there.
"One signature coffee , please." I said as I ordered from the cashier.
"What size?" she asked.
"Small." I said.
Then she took my payment and I headed towards the seat near the window. A window seat.... for two. The cafe was surprisingly full tonight unlike the past few days.
Again, I have no choice but to sit on that window seat. It is where we sit often. It is our seat. Our place. There are a lot of couples at the cafe and wow I'm alone. There's a part of me which says you should be happy because he's not the only guy in this world. Another part of me says you're still hurt so don't pretend to be happy. The truth is , I am both happy and sad. I'm happy because we're both free and we can focus more in our careers. But I'm sad because I'm not the other half of his heart anymore. I'm sad because I let him go even though I still love him. I'm sad because I can't see him. I'm sad because I can't share this relaxing coffee shop where we can chill with the aromatic smell of the coffee.
"Small signature coffee?" the waitress said as she serves my coffee.
"Yes. Thank you." I said.
"Since you're a regular customer here, we would like to give you this item for free." the waitress said. She handed me a purple journal with the name of the cafe on it and a pen.
"Oh thanks." I said .
"Enjoy your coffee!" she said.
I took advantage of using the freebies from the cafe. A window seat is also a bonus in inspiring me to write something. While sipping my coffee my brain and my heart began to function smoothly.
And so I wrote: My coffee has been cold lately, I can't feel anything after taking a sip and there's no heat to leave a pain on my lips. And it was a relief. But then, I remember one thing about sipping a cold coffee instead of a hot one: cold coffee doesn't leave you any marks when you sipped it, just like a blunt feeling. But a hot coffee will leave you a remarkable pain from the heat which reminds you that you are alive to feel....
I closed the journal and stared at the window. He was the coffee. The hot coffee. No matter how our breakup hurt me, he left me a mark and a lesson to learn. A hot coffee can be a challenge too or an obstacle. They all made you feel that you are alive. That you can go on with your life. You can still stand up. Love taught me to move forward. He taught me to be stronger. He is love.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A BROKE FANGIRL/FANBOY
One of the proudest things as a fan is the feeling that you are part of their growing fandom and stardom. From streaming their songs online, watching their music videos, TV guestings, collecting photocards, albums, lightsticks, attending to their concert and fan meetings surely, you're a fan! But there's a problem, MONEY.
It's really heartbreaking when you hear that members of your favorite band are coming and their concert is just around the corner but here you are thinking of how to sell one of your kidneys just to go to their concert (kidding).That no matter how much you try to save, it will never be enough for a ticket because you are only a student who has limited resources or if you're an adult, you have bills to pay. So joining a "team bahay" livestream is your last resort, but sometimes even those links don't work!
Of course if there's team bahay there's also "team airport/ team labas", fans who waits at the airport hoping to see their idols upon their arrival. How we wish we could also attend and be part of it, something like shouting their names, fanchants then cry out of happiness while waving their lightsticks or banners. What a concept isn't?
Hey, cheer up! being broke doesn't make you any less of a fan. Know that there are other ways to support and love them. For sure our idols have the same and equal love to us no matter what "team" we belong (team concert, team airport/labas and team bahay).Maybe for some people, they might think we are being overly dramatic without knowing that for us fans, their existence itself and music saved us and made us happy once in our lives. -Gwy June 16,2020