From Our Readers: To the Best Friend Whose Heartbreak I've Witnessed
It has always been hard for me to handle other people's heartbreak than dealing with my own. I find it really sad to see someone I value get broken by somebody who doesn't even know their worth. I never found the strength to say "it's okay" because I know things aren't going to be okay. I don't have the right words to say to stop them crying from all the pain.
I can't help but feel down because every time your heart gets broken, mine does, too.
My best friend has been through a lot of heartbreaks. From that high school guy that made her feel special but chose to be with another girl, then there was her friendship with a college cutie who did not respond to her confession, and a friend who flirted with her but didn't have the guts to return the kind of love she gave him—I've witnessed all of them.
I know how she wakes up feeling heavy, hoping the pain in her heart will go away. I know a part of her expects him to love her back, and another part where she's praying to finally let him go. Every day has always been a battle. She keeps on losing herself, drowned with sadness and emptiness. She is at the edge of a cliff, holding on to something that is not even there. Then she feels like sinking to the bottom of uncertainty, landing on a pile of big mess that is her life.
I know the sleepless nights she's going through, when she'd cry without a single noise, but her pillows are all stained with tears. I know that she is always thinking of him. I know how much she wants text him, but she's afraid that he might just step back again. I know that she misses everything about him. Everything about him made her feel alive but then again, he also made her feel lifeless. Why is it impossible to let him go, you ask. She is not even sure if she can let him go because her heart might not want to surrender. All the painful feelings don't seem to stop.
For all the days she feels like giving up because she sees him enjoying someone else's company, I want to tell her to please breathe.
She is worth the chase. When people leave, she should learn to let them so they can realize what they lost. She is so real, unquestionably humble and honest, for giving all the love she thinks they deserve. She is beautiful in the way she smiles after weeping, saying, "This would be the last." She is brave in the way she keeps her head high and strong, although she is trembling inside. She is wonderful with those battle scars, a trace of every lesson she's learned.
She is beautiful in the way she smiles after weeping, saying, "This would be the last."
she may feel fragile and sensitive right now, but I hope she knows it's okay not to be okay. I hope she learns how to embrace herself, that the right man doesn't go playing with her feelings. The right man won't make her wait and make her feel abandoned. No, it doesn't work that way.
She deserves someone who will think of her the moment they wake up, the one who looks forward to seeing her, the one who gives her a hug when she's breaking down, the one who wipes her tears and reassures her that he'll stay, the one who brings out the best in her and make her feel special. Somewhere out there, I believe, the right man is also dreaming of her. I know it's inevitable to build walls around herself so she can protect her heart from breaking. Sometimes people just have save themselveswhen the world is caving in.
To my best friend whose heartbreak I've witnessed several times, I may not give you all the consolation you need, but let it be known that I won't get tired of listening to your endless rants and dramas. Let me empathize with your pain, as we cry and laugh our hearts out. We'll relish the moments our hearts were naïve and whole. We'll start making plans to fix our broken parts and mend what has been hurt. We'll sing over the good times we had and we will have. We will envision the coming day when we finally make a vow to the right person, then giggle like young girls do.
There is nothing more important than appreciating your own worth rather than searching it to others.
For now, don't give up on yourself. Letting him go is like giving yourself the merit to be happy. Spare some love for yourself, be kind and gentle to yourself. There is nothing more important than appreciating your own worth rather than searching it to others. There will be some days when you wouldn't want to get out of bed and some nights that are harder than yesterday. You are constantly learning and growing from everything. Sometimes, people come into our life just to teach us how to love. And since happy endings are hard to find, we are left to restore what they destroyed. You've been confused and rejected for too long. You've been through enough downfalls, and your scarred soul is already too solitary. Remember, it's never too late.
To my best friend whose heartbreak I've witnessed several times, defeat is not in our language. Stand up. You will survive.