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From Our Readers: To All the Boys I've Had a Crush On

Inspired by Jenny Han's novel To All the Boys I've Loved Before.
PHOTO Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Having crushes will always be one of our fondest memories from when we were still a student. Whether you admit it or not, we talk about them endlessly with our friends. At times, we even meet in our school cafeteria just to ogle over the campus cuties that pass by. We cannot admire them explicitly, as much as we want to.

There's this feeling that you want to appreciate them, but you stop yourself for one or all of these reasons: He won't appreciate it, he has a girlfriend, we're just not brave enough. I can relate most to the last one. Graduation day is imminent. Now that it's almost here, I think it's just right to say thank you and goodbye to all the guys that made my studying years special.

  1. To the guy who has the nicest nose.

We weren't close during the first two years of high school. You were always picking on me, making fun of me. I didn't know what happened during our third year; all of a sudden, you became very friendly towards me. Not that I didn't like it, but it's just quite odd to think that you liked me. And that's the start of our burgeoning friendship. I was surprised to know you were kind, that's why I admired you.

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Years have passed and you remained as that same guy I knew. Thank you for all the fond memories, for speaking to me with that husky voice of yours, and for being such a good friend.

  1. To the obnoxious guy.

My first year of college was blissful because of you. But whatever happened, I don't know. You just don't have that good attitude to create a full package of one ideal guy. Yet you still made me admire you. You have the wit and spontaneity.

We're going to graduate already. Together! Thank you for those little chats we had when you were kind, something rare for someone like you, and for being a part of my chaotic college years.

  1. To the guy who made history.

I read somewhere that if you had a crush for someone for more than four months, it's love. So is what I feel for you considered love? You made history. You have been my crush for three years.


You have grown to be so handsome. It's still vivid on my mind how we saw each other again. You went down the jeepney, with the wind blowing your hair. I was in in awe. I asked you on Facebook if you stillm knew me; you just seenzoned me. Sad, but I still love you.

Just let me say thank you for those three years of letting me admire you from afar, for allowing me to stalk your Instagram. Most of all, thank you for making me feel jealous because of your girlfriend, even if I didn't have the right to.

I might not be a Lara Jean who ended up with his own Peter. They might not know they are my own version of John Ambrose, Josh, and Peter, but at least, even if this piece is not on a paper hidden in a teal blue box, their part in my life would always be remembered. Always and forever.


P.S. I still have crush in y'all.










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First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis A day ago
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