Candy Feels
From Our Readers: The Rule of Math in Love
I'm the X that everyone's trying to figure out. And you will always be my Y, my biggest what if and doubt.
PHOTO Columbia Pictures ART Clare Magno

"Do you know what's the problem with parallel lines?"
"They will never meet," I replied.
"Okay fine, you win."

Why do you think I would not know the answer to it? We are those parallel lines. We are two people who are never destined to meet. Until one day, fate had a different plan and made our paths intersect. My life was changed from then on.

You and I were just random strangers. Being the go-with-the-flow type of person, I expected nothing when we first talked. But our conversations, the exchange of calls and messages went on for weeks until you became part of my daily routine. Isn't it such a wonderful feeling when someone makes your heart beat so fast? We found ourselves getting closer and closer to each other as time passed by and eventually, you became one of the sources of my happiness. It was a reciprocal attraction. Sadly, just like an asymptote and axis, no matter how close we get, the universe won't allow us to be together.

Isn't it such a wonderful feeling when someone makes your heart beat so fast?

We were very happy back then. It felt like we've known each other for years. You made me laugh, told me endless stories, and gave me those butterflies every time I heard you sing. Despite that, I remained evasive as I have always been. I was trying so hard to contain these feelings I cannot define.

I should not fall for you but at the same time, I know my feelings are not irrational to just ignore. It was something real.

I tried to push you away although I failed. We lasted for more months until the inevitable finally happened. We stopped talking all of a sudden. The last message came from me and you did not reply after that. You left me with so many questions as to why you simply left without saying a word. I looked in every angle of our past conversations to see if I said something wrong.

It was rude just leaving a girl like that after making her feel so special. But then again, perhaps it was partly my fault, too. I chose not to ask you because the truth is, I was too afraid to hear whatever you will say. I noted every possible reason I could assume but to determine which is complicated. I wish I could just simplify it and end up with a reason that you are really just a jerk. But no, that's not how I've known you.

I chose not to ask you because the truth is, I was too afraid to hear whatever you will say.

Is there any formula to move on from this? It's been over a year and my questions are still unanswered. My hope has become finite. I still keep asking for signs that you'll come back and whenever I see one, I know they were just either imaginary or desperately made up. You took only a fraction of my life but the pain you left was whole.

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"Do you know what's the problem with a tangent line?"
"No.", I replied.

"At one point in our lives, fate made our paths intersect. But a tangent line was just supposed to stop by at a certain point. The tangent line has to leave eventually. And the curve has to accept that they need to part ways," you explained.

I'm the X that everyone's trying to figure out. And you will always be my Y, my biggest what if and doubt.

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