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From Our Readers: The Pain of a Non-Existent Goodbye

The kind of goodbye that was never really said.
PHOTO Unsplash

It was summer when we uttered out hellos and said our names. It was during one beautiful sunset when I knew that you would forever occupy a place in my heart, in my thoughts, and steal a piece of me.

Things that come without warning are the things that often last, but you came in like a breeze and nonetheless stayed like that. You were a breath of air so strong, so full, so noticeable. Yet as soon as I knew you was the time that you dissipated, you were gone like you never existed.

From the moment I saw your eyes, I knew you were nothing but a dormant hurricane, a foreboding of fate. I knew that all my days, I'll forever have your face as a sweet memory, a fading portrait. 

What we had sprung from scrap, and we made it beautiful without giving it a name. What we shared were smiles that screamed happiness. We just hoped that somehow, what we had will always be what we'll have. You were a beautiful mess and I was a canvass left in oblivion. We were a pair that complemented each other intensely, everyone around us cowered. We were art. What we had were built in just a span of days yet a promise of an endless tale was already evident in our eyes. What we had was nameless yet it kept us burning, it ignited our hearts, fueled our hungry souls that searched for happiness for so long.

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You were a beautiful mess and I was a canvas left in oblivion. We were a pair that complemented each other intensely, everyone around us cowered. We were art.

I thought that was it, I thought my search for bliss was finally over for I have you right next to me, under the radiant reign of the sun, under the glistening eyes of the world. Weeks passed, you were nowhere to be found. You disappeared under my heart's radar, like a smoke joining the wind. Your words that promised a myriad of good things were heard no more. Your voice that once sent my thoughts uproaring was nowhere to be heard. You left me faster than you came.

You left me faster than you came.

What have I done wrong? Was I too much to handle? Was I too in love? I never knew one could lose someone just because of caring too much.  The time you left was the time I jumped and took the fall, but then you were not there just like you promised me before. The words you ever so lovingly said were left to be cultivated and propped alive by me. 

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What have I done wrong? Was I too much to handle? Was I too in love? I never knew one could lose someone just because of caring too much.  

I was left alone and I was drowning in the world your words have created. I was left drowning in the promises that you nonchalantly uttered. I was in a state of calamity and you were not there to pull me from the current. You were only there for the good times.

The goodbye that you owe me is what I have always prayed for. Our love may be lost and our time may have passed, a word of parting from you is what I want for my last.

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