Candy Feels

From Our Readers: The Letter You'll Send Me Someday

I know I didn't fight hard enough to make you stay.
PHOTO IFC Films ART Clare Magno

Love, 

It's been a while since I last saw you. I haven't heard from you, but I guess I'm still lucky that we're in the same circle still because I still get to hear news about you. I'm happy that you're able to smile again after I broke your heart. 

I heard you're very happy now, the kind that's refreshing. I've actually seen you in that same corner, our meeting place back in high school. I've seen you standing with a phone in hand and a bag in your arm, a certain glow on your face—one that I've never been lucky to see before. My chest ached a little at the sight of you, completely happy. 

Then I saw him. He pulled up, got out of the car, kissed your cheek, and opened the door for you. My heart ached for the second time. I stopped, dead in my tracks. I couldn't move. My feet were planted in that spot. 

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That was the moment I realized it was you all along. It was you, two years ago, who never left my side even if I gave you more than enough reasons to leave. It was you who loved me at my worst, who still loved me even if I was busy flirting with meaningless girls. It was you who never stopped undestanding me. You never got tired of giving me chances after chances. It was you, the one I was foolish enough to let go.

But I hope you're genuinely happy. I hope he knows how to say sorry and really mean it. I hope he doesn't get irritated when you get clingy. I hope he takes you out to dinner because you love trying new things. I hope he always fetches you at school and eats your favorite cheeseburger with you. I hope he lets you win a Tekken fight. I hope he doesn't leave you early on your anniversary date just to go somewhere else. I hope he never wastes his chance of being with you, because being with you is the most magical thing that could happen to any guy.

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Trust me, I know. I was just this foolish guy who wasted my chance with a girl as precious as you are because I was coward to own up to my mistakes.

As cliche as this sounds, I learned things the hard way—to go after a speck of dust when I already had a diamond in my hands who was willing to give me anything and everything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hadn't fought hard enough to make you stay. I'm sorry for all my shortcomings. I hope he makes up for my mistakes, because you deserve everything good in this world.

I love you and I always will.

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