From Our Readers: Thank You for Teaching Me How to Step Up
I should step up, you told me one time. I should face challenges. I should speak my mind. I should initiate. I should be confident. I should try and try and never stop. I should go beyond my limits. I should never settle on what I think I can do.
Once upon a time, I was that girl who's afraid to face challenges. I stayed on where I was standing. People thought I was kind because I never tell them what I think, even when I am pissed off. What they don't know is that I do not speak my mind because I am scared. I have fears.
Then I met you. You were so persistent on what you wanted. You were used to being the first in everything. You'd go beyond what you're supposed to do just to make the most of what you have. You are always and very willing to take the challenges. You always speak whatever it is you're thinking. You are you. You are never scared of showing who you are.
You were the one who taught me to try, try going beyond myself. That is the reason why I have always admired you. That is the reason why I can never see your negative side, despite people saying that I should avoid falling for you. You're a trap, that's what they say. I tried. I tried so hard to never, ever fall for you.
Somewhere along the way, I forgot what happened. Suddenly, you were that guy who would patiently listen to whatever it is I had to say. You were became the guy who welcomed who I really am. You were the guy who encouraged me to be myself. You were that guy who would speak for me in those moments when I couldn't. Thank you.
I could almost call you my knight in shining armor.
I fell for you. I fell so hard. I guess I haven't really learned well yet. I still have my fears. I am still scared. I was scared that suddenly you would walk away from me. Apparently, I pushed you away first. And now we're slowly drifting apart, going our separate ways.
But I'll show you that I am capable of stepping up for myself. I want to tell you that I like you. I hope we could bring back whatever we had. I liked who I was when I was with you. Without you, I feel like I'm being my old fearful self again. I need you, and a part of me looks for you. I know somewhere along the way, I need to stop. But until I can't anymore, I'll continue standing up for myself and for how I feel about you. I love you.