Four years ago, I never expected to be with you.
I was okay with settling for what I thought I deserved. I did not care about the things people were telling me, like to stop being too crazy over a guy who just wasn't loyal to me. I guess there will always be a time in our lives when we go too crazy over somebody. But I ended the love I had for that guy and decided to take things slow. Then you came.
You were the typical heartthrob in school. You have brown eyes that can make all the ladies drown in a pool of feels, a radiant smile that can make anyone's heart stop beating, and you were so down to earth. We became close and slowly, I opened up myself to you. In the process of getting to know you, you told me that you were not ready for any commitment, that you don't really take things seriously. I was okay with that because I wasn't expecting anything.
Then came the late night drives where we went to an open field and watch the stars shine brightly above us. The way you shared you deepest thoughts to me, our isaw and ice cream sesh every day, after school, the way you looked at me and secretly smiled at me like we had our own little secret, and how you waited for me every day until I got home safe—those are the things that made me fall for you.
I wasn't really ready to tell you what I was feeling. I don't want to ruin the frienship we have. What was going between us was the only little spark that kept me warm after that devastating experience.
On the 4th of January, you invited me to accompany you to the open field because you wanted to look at the stars. During our conversation, our eyes met. It felt like my world suddenly stopped. It didn't feel magical, more like home. Looking at you felt like home. You leaned in and kiss me, and told me you loved me.
I just want you to know that you did save me. You sacrificed losing your beliefs and ideals about love just to start a new world with me. You lost yourself in the middle of trying to revive me from fall. You were my miracle, a saving grace sent by God.
In August, you brought me happiness just by existing. In your eyes my soul found the warmth it has been looking for, the kind of warmth we all want to wake up to after the long winter. In my own demenented world you were the one who kept me sane. You are stabilty, my roots, my saving grace.