I've said it a million times that maybe forgetting you would lessen the pain. Maybe replacing the memories with brand new ones would eventually erase all the hurt I've felt. Maybe time would somehow heal the wounds.
But no matter what we do to lessen the damage, the scars would forever leave its mark.
Through the months that had passed, I can't really say that I'm totally over you. All I know is that I'm actually doing fine right now. From time to time, certain memories would flash through my mind and then there I am again—back to square one. I let myself dwell on those moments for a little while, reminiscing how happy I was back then, how special you made me feel. And then I go on to wondering why the drifting apart had to happen and how we ended up to where we are right now. A couple of times I feel like regretting everything but sometimes I'm also thankful that it happened. I learned a lot, thanks to you.
So maybe forgetting wasn't really the answer, accepting is. Forgetting everything means forgetting not just the bad memories but also the good ones. Just because it was bad doesn't mean it was meant to be bad forever. Sometimes it could also bring us something good. Something we should learn from.
Which is why right now, I'm just going to accept it; accept the fact that all we will be are just friends; accept that things have to end that way; accept that it had to happen. Because right now, that's the only option that I've got: accept. If I won't, I will just throw away the years of friendship we already built although we both know it wasn't going to be the same as it used to be. But I guess, I'll settle for that. For now.
Years will pass and probably, I'll just laugh about this. I don't know what will happen in the next days to come and frankly, I'm still not sure who I really am. Maybe this is all a part of my voyage in finding the real me.
While I'm on my journey, I think I need to be open to a lot of things around me and accept whatever it is, may it be an experience or a lesson. I'll embrace it, wholeheartedly.