Candy Feels

From Our Readers: "Just Because I Said No Doesn't Mean I Don't Like You"

I hid what I was really feeling inside.
PHOTO Pexels/Pixabay

One of the best feelings in the world is when your crush likes you back. But what if you need to pretend that you didn't like him? Do you even know how hard it is to control the kilig? If only there's an award for hiding your feelings, I've probably taken that home by now. I know I'm not alone in this fight.

We were groupmates for an event in our school and that was when it all started. He has a great sense of humor and he made me laugh effortlessly. He also loved throwing compliments my way, while I pretend to just brush them off and that they didn't get to me at all. Most of the time, I just smiled every time he makes fun of me. He tried his best until he got my attention. He was really good with words and actions, which almost got me swayed.

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There was this one moment when he called me, so I went outside to know what was going on. He was waiting for me, wanting me to be beside him.  He looked at me like I knew what he meant. I refused to know what he meant; I didn't want to. I walked away instead, but to be honest it was my only way of covering up my kilig. If I could only show my true feelings for just one time. I do like him but I don't want to be so affected on whatever it is he tells me or does for me. I need to pretend because my friends will be suspicious if I show some interest on him. 

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I walked away instead, but to be honest it was my only way of covering up my kilig. If I could only show my true feelings for just one time. I do like him but I don't want to be so affected on whatever it is he tells me or does for me.

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Being a fifth wheel in our barkada is one of the things I have to face every day. It's a miracle when someone has the courage to show his feelings for me. I feel like I've been ignored for a long time already and it's just nice to feel special sometimes. I was aware that maybe he was just making fun of me, that he just wanted to make me fall for him without the intention of catching me. It turns out I was wrong.

One night he sent me a message asking my permission if he can pursue me. I told him no. How am I supposed respond after rejecting his feelings, right? He replied with a promise, telling me that he'll wait for me until graduation. I acted like it was nothing, when I was amazed deep inside because he was so determined.

He had no idea how much I wanted to tell him what I truly feel about him, but I kept my feelings inside because I believed that's what I supposed to do.

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I hid what I was really feeling inside. I can't deny the fact that I really like him. I wanted to open the door for him. He had no idea how much I wanted to tell him what I truly feel about him, but I kept my feelings inside because I believed that's what I supposed to do. After all, I believed that boys will be boys; they were just so good with words and will eventually lose interest on you. I believed I did the right thing.

Right now, I just want him to know that even though I rejected him, I still want him to wait for me and prove that he really is sincere. I want him to know that I'm waiting for him, too. I want him to know that he should believe me when I say that when the right time comes for us, it will be worth all the time we spent waiting.

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