Candy Feels

From Our Readers: It's Not Love, Just Overwhelming Feelings

I've never really been in love.
PHOTO James Reid | instagram.com/jaye.wolf ART Clare Magno

It was never love, just overwhelming feelings.

Maybe this is the reason I was never meant to fall in love; my feelings are like waterfalls—always overwhelming, endlessly rushing. They can never be grasped by anyone, even myself.

I can fall in love have deep feelings for moments, even the fleeting ones that people easily forget have the power to be etched in my memory.

I can fall in love have deep feelings for things that eventually become memorabilia—books, gifts and souvenirs that tell stories from different chapters of my life. Sometimes, I crave to touch them when I get sentimental.

But always, I can fall in love have deep feelings for people who I may or may not have had personal encounters with. It can take me a year, a day, or even a minute (that will always feel like forever) for me to develop these feelings. Many times, I thought I was falling in love but I never really knew what love is and maybe I never will. Now I think I understand that it was never love, just incomprehensible, overwhelming feelings.

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Feelings that can consume my whole being. Feelings that can make me short of breath, weak in the knees, or at times, bring a tear or two in my eyes. I "fall in love" with ideas of people, versions of themselves my mind created to fit my own ideals and stories that led me to get these rushing feelings. I really hope I'm slowly discovering an explanation for always falling. That will make me less crazy, more human.

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