From Our Readers: I Was Wrong About Love
Nobody comes into this world with a predetermined relationship. Every single one of us has to start out single. Aside from being born single, one is also considered single simply because this person is and so far still is single.
This is "being single" whereas "choosing to be single" is entirely another option. Yes, there is a significant difference between the two. Depending on the person, choosing to be single could be temporary or permanent.
A person can choose to be single after getting through a breakup and someone could also choose to be single just because.
Our time being single is a time to find ourselves. So find yourself. Embrace you. With this privilege, comes the responsibility of living one's life independently. That is why this is also a phase where we prepare for the possibility of choosing to be single for the rest of our lives.
On the other hand, being in a relationship lets you experience love—falling in love at a mutual level, but you must not forget that it is also a time to think about what you want in the long-term. Relax and remember that going into a relationship does not automatically imply that you are looking for a partner to settle down with.
Once you get to experience both, you can start weighing your options. Consider the fact that there are equal pros and cons to a lifetime of being single and a life with the one you love. Keep in mind that it is not about finding the perfect life. It is about choosing the one that you will be happier with.
Everybody has different perspectives on falling in love. Some people can be so cynical about it to the point that they don't ever want to experience it. Some people have felt so wounded by the experience that they become afraid to fall in love again. Some people rush into a relatioship because they tend to think rationally about love—often treating everything the comes with love as goals where they set deadlines for. Some people feel so deeply for others that they forget who they are because they immerse themselves into another person. And that's just to name a few. If you ever find yourself in similar situations, please hear me out.
To those who are cynical, please don't do these two things: Push your feelings away, and avoid every possibility of falling in love. Allow yourself to fall in love. Be open to love because one day you might regret not taking a chance on it.
For the wounded: Just chill. Take things slow. Your scars will never completely heal. These wounds will always remind you of the pains of your past, but please be hopeful. Fall in love again because love is worth the risk of getting hurt.
To the mind-over-heart kind of people: Live in the moment. Similar to the point above, just slow down. Don't make hasty decisions. Love cannot be forced after all. Thoroughly think things over before you make a choice you might not be happy with.
Lastly, for the hopeless romantics: Focus on you for now. Find yourself again. Learn to love yourself more. You deserve all the best, especially when it comes to your happiness so don't settle.
I was wrong about love. I can say this even though I have not fallen in love yet because I have felt rather cynical, rational, unnerved, and intense toward the idea before. I was wrong to think that way.
What I've realized is this: We all need to fall in love at least once in our lives. There may be experiences that are not meant for everyone but falling in love isn't one of them.
I see that now but I cannot say I fully know it because I have yet to know what falling in love is.