If given a chance to rewrite the story of my life 18 months ago, I would say that I still don't want to change anything. But if you ask me about that now, there's only one thing I'd hope for this story to be different and that would be meeting the same you in another time, a much earlier time perhaps. So that I would be the most special person by your side at this very moment. The one you would share your hopes and dreams, deepest secrets, and silly thoughts with. The one you could laugh and cry with, the one you could grow old with. Unfortunately, that would not be me, that could never be me.
There's only one thing I'd hope for this story to be different and that would be meeting the same you in another time, a much earlier time perhaps.
I may be a fool to have fallen for you this fast and this deep even though I know that I would end up getting hurt in the process. I had so many choices to avoid getting hurt but I still chose you. I endured all the pain just to have you, just to be with you. I can't blame you for leading me on because I did felt that you genuinely care for me. But deep within us, we knew that what we have should be kept because it's forbidden. So I have loved you secretly for 18 months now and you have been my beautiful little secret.
We knew that what we have should be kept because it's forbidden. So I have loved you secretly for 18 months now and you have been my beautiful little secret.
Loving you is never easy. Keeping you a secret is hard. Being on the background is the worst. But I'm willing to take all of these things—even crying secretly at times—as long as I have you. Everything just fades away whenever I am with you. You have given me so many reasons to be thankful, memories to be treasured, and a love to be kept and cherished. And you know that I'll always be here as long as you need me.
Yes, we did try to stop this. We tried to control our emotions. But I ended up, wanting and loving you so much more. I can deal with the pain of seeing you with her, but the pain of losing you is the one I can't handle. It may sound crazy but I never wanted someone like this before the way I did for you even if it's too complicated.
I can deal with the pain of seeing you with her, but the pain of losing you is the one I can't handle.
That's why I don't know how long I can hold on to our love, because loving you means breaking my heart into pieces. But every time I see you, I'm reminded of what you have told me—that for as long as I'm here, you would always be there for me. With that, I'm still sticking with you no matter what. Beacuse I may have a foolish heart but it's a healthy one; it can bear all the heartache and pain.
But if ever there comes a time when this would end, please remember that I'm grateful to have known you. I'm thankful for the love and affection you have showed me. And you know that I will always love you. So if you'd still ask me now if I want to change anything in my life? My answer would be no, I don't want to because I'm happy to have been given a chance to love you. I prefer that than getting no chance at all.