From Our Readers: "I Want to Build a Home in Your Arms"
I want to build a home right in your arms, where your heart beats as your breath cools my forehead.
I want to build a home right in your arms, where I can plant sunflowers in the cracks of your heart and water them with my tears.
I want to build a home right in your arms, for when the storm comes I'll be wrapped around your stronghold, warm, secure, beautiful.
Keep a place for me, so that when I'm gone, you can still feel my warmth, the touch of my skin as our legs get tangled and a smile creeps in our faces.
I would run to you and wrap my arms around you. I would feel your happiness and your gentle chuckle, overwhelmed because you are here with me, alive, living, existing, exquisite.
But my home grew and changed. My love couldn't put a roof over our heads anymore. And instead, you have built your own roof that covered your eyes. You couldn't see me anymore. You couldn't look at me the same way anymore. You fell out of love.
They say everything in the world is temporary, and I used to say you were an exception. I have invested my heart in something so temporary and I wish I knew. I knew then I had to get away from your arms, my love a trailing veil.
But leaving doesn't mean I learned to love you any less, it's still the same; it hasn't changed at all. I still love you just the same from the moment we started to the moment we ended. But you have to understand that I left because you didn't need my love anymore. I left because no matter how many times I show you that I will fight for this, that I will fight for you, you choose to ignore it. You don't know that I am now an empty shell of unfamiliar things.
So instead, I will build my own home. Maybe the sunflowers that I have planted in your heart for the past three years have either withered or died. What's important is that I want my own home to grow, too, as I grow with it. So for now, my heart is reserved for someone who can handle the galaxies that swirl in my head and my heart.
You are off to an adventure of your own, just like what you wanted, without me and with someone else. I love you, I miss you, and I thank you. Unfortunately, I cannot remember what it feels like to be in your arms anymore. Maybe it comes to me in dreams, that's why I wake up sometimes with tears in my eyes.
I'm just looking forward to the future where everything is possible, where everything has its own potential. I actually envy those people who can forget things so easily, they can easily move forward without the difficulty of looking back. But I like looking back, just to see how far I've come. So for now, let me have the chance to say that I wanted to build a home in your arms, but I want to build a home in mine too.