From Our Readers: "I Regret Rejecting You"
I have always liked you, and everyone knows that—including you. We played this flirting game for a long time. Then finally, you officially asked me. I said no.
I shouldn't have said no because at that very moment you said you wanted to pursue me, I already thought about the right time to say yes. Was one month enough or three months? We have known each other since first grade, so there's no doubt on how good you are as a person.
I shouldn't have said no just because you didn't pass this perfect fantasy that I had.
I shouldn't have said no because I know that if I can choose who I'd love, I will always choose you.
I shouldn't have said no, just because I thought I'd hurt one of our friends who like you and another friend who likes me. I guess I became this girl who makes way for others. The person I often wish would be selfish sometimes.
I shouldn't have said no because whenever we get together, it's you I want to see.
I shouldn't have said no just because I work on the night shift and barely have the time to reply to you.
I shouldn't have said no because I really like you.
I shouldn't have said no, but I did. Because I thought, maybe I'm just in love with the idea of you.
I shouldn't have said no, but I did. Because I won't give a yes if it's not definite, and because there is no maybe.
I shouldn't have said no, but I did. Because I care for you. And I hope you know that.
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Outdoors Danielle Flestado @artdkf | May 1, 2020 "I miss the outside world. The last time I went outside of our house was on my birthday. We just bought coffee across our village and went back home immediately. This painting made me feel that I'm in a field, just appreciating the beauty of God's creation. Can you imagine the green grass and pink flowers?"
When everything around you suddenly turns dark, the first thing we'd prolly do, as humans, is to find and grab anything that is closest and nearest to us. We'll hold onto them for as long as we can, trying to collect ourselves and gather courage to adjust our eyesights to the pitch black environment that's consuming us minute by minute. And then you'd hear nothing. Your sense of hearing would somehow go off after not seeing anything for quite awhile. You'll let loose. Cry. Panic. You'll be exhausted for fighting your way out. Then just when you're about to stop and give up, you're no longer afraid. There's only this deafening silence and pithole of darkness that's gonna eat you up alive. And surprisingly, you'll make a home out of it.
You'll make a home out of the darkness that when a ray of light suddenly hits you, you'll try to avoid it. You'll try to cover your eyes. You'll try to cover your ears from the voices trying to help you get out of it. You'll try to hide because your mind and body will go against your will to come out and live. Because the darkness that used to scare you, now comforts you in a way you thought has helped you survived life. And you'll try to live. Day by day. In the darkness. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing who is with you. You will try to live until the darkness that once surrounds you is now within you. And everyday, it's gonna be a cycle of subtle torture. But let me tell you a secret. The darkness won't make you whole.
You'll be broken. And in those hair-like cracks, the light will stubbornly fight its way through until it warms you up. Until you realize to check the switch and turn it on. Until you allow other people to help you find your way back in the light. Until you realize you're ready to live in light again. There's a light at the end of this long and dreading tunnel. The only question that matters: will you let them in?
I always thought of life, like a bead where each piece makes it worth sewing together with other piece of beads to make a stronger bond and to create a beautiful result. Today, how do we bond well with different people especially this difficult time? As this day challenges us to a new normal, may we continue to bead along positively with our life.