From Our Readers: I Really Wanted You to Be My Last
Have you ever thought of coming back? Have you ever thought of fulfilling the promises, dreams, and all of the wishes that we've made? Because I have, I have been constantly wishing to the stars that maybe one day, you'll knock at my door and say that you still love me. Wouldn't that be the most amazing thing?
But who am I kidding? The world has been against us ever since, and you chose to leave.
Is it wrong for me to still think of our what our future could be? Is it wrong for me to still feel happy whenever I think of you—your smile, laugh, smirk, frown, voice, smell, face, touch, and everything about you? Maybe it is, maybe it's not, but it's the only way I can keep myself alive. It's the only way I can save myself from drowning in my own sea of emotions.
I know, most of you, if not all, are probably screaming in your heads right now that I should just move on, but it's easier said than done. The pain, this unbearable pain still crushes me. Sometimes, at night, when no one could hear me other than the inanimate objects that I keep in my room, my own demons come and haunt me. When I am in a crowded room where everyone seems so happy and lively, I have to stop myself from breaking down because all the memories come crashing in.
There is this one thing out of the million other things that you have taught me: It is that no matter how painful it is to love someone, it will always be worth it. From the laugh and humorous jokes to the tears and heartbreaking messages, I will forever treasure you. You will always be in my heart, no matter how many years will pass. I love you, and I hope you still know that.
I only wish for your happiness even if it's not with me. I want to see you graduate from your dream university. I want you to be successful in your chosen career. I want you to see the world in a different perspective, a perspective that no one will ever fathom. Dream, my love, with the help of the Almighty. I love you. Always.