I love you. That's all I want to say because that's how I feel for you from the moment your eyes took down my walls, the moment your smile erased my fears, the moment my sadness was washed away by your touch, and the moment I took another fall and you were there below, willing to catch me as I go.
I was hurt by love before. I left the place I considered home when I fell in love—the place where I dreamt to find the one I would love to wake up next to, the place where I promised that happiness will always be my choice. Love destroyed everything, my every dream, my every wish, and all the promises I made with my past.
So walls were built, fears came out, and sadness ate me whole. But I have to be strong because I was so young to give up, they said. I was so lost in a new city. Meeting new people is a big job for me because I considered him as the only person in my world, or maybe I considered him as my world. He became my priority and all the other options were put into trash because that's how much I love him. I care too much and now, nothing's left but the broken pieces of my being.
But meeting you gave me a familiar feeling, the feeling of happiness that can't be removed by stress, the feeling that just by thinking of you can tickle my stomach and that's how I realized why everything seems so familiar yet new. I am falling in love with you.
I am in love with you... by how you greet me in the morning and before you sleep, by how you tell me you love me in between our talks, by how you simply say my name, by how you call me with our enderaments, by how you gave sermons because of my carelessness, by how you get jealous because boys just don't know that I am yours, by how you crack jokes in my most down moment that can automatically lighten our mood, by how you sing even if you don't know the lyrics, I am just so in love with you.
It was not always a smooth-sailing ship for us. We fought until we no longer recognized ourselves, until we just ignored each other's presence, until I ended up crying because I couldn't bear the fact that he was already far away from me. I loved it when I'm fighting with him because I couldn't imagine myself fighting for love with someone else. I love all the ups and downs as long as it was with him. Then a realization hit us suddenly. It was at that moment when we realized how we can't stand being so bad around each other.
But with you, I am always ready to face the future. How I am so in love by the fact that someday, we'll be having breakfast together in the safety of our own home, how I'd wake up next to you in the morning, how we'll work together in our own clinic, and how I'd fall asleep in your arms after a long day.
I found a new place, my new home, and it's with you. I no longer find the need to hide because you have seen me at my worst. I am not afraid to chase my happiness because I know you won't stop me along the way. I no longer find the need to build walls again because I know you will be my hero.
But if ever this heart will get broken again, it will be a privilege to be broken by you because my heart is yours to keep and you are the boy I am willing to the risk for.