From Our Readers: I'm Sorry That You Were Just My Rebound Guy
I didn't mean to. Or I guess I did. But I had no choice. I was broken and you were there. I was sad and you are willing to make me happy. I was in pieces and you were willing to give up everything just for me. That's why I decided to take advantage of your good heart.
I know it's wrong and I know you really like me but I needed someone to fill up the spaces the used to occupy. I needed someone who would be there in times of pain. I needed someone to care about me, at least for now. I needed someone who would make me feel my worth. I needed someone to conceal the scars. I needed someone to love me. I needed someone to make me feel special. I needed a rebound, and it happened to be you.
You're a great guy, and I know I'm so mean for doing this but I still love him. I wanted to tell you that from the start. I wanted to warn you about this. I wanted to make you go away and leave me. I wanted you to forget about me. But you chose to stay, you chose to ask me a favor, and you chose to be a rebound.
You'll learn to love me someday, you said.
It's the 5th month when you said that to me. As you begged me to accept you, as you begged me to give you a chance, and as you begged me to take advantage of your good heart. But I can't love you unless I learn to unlove him. And I can't do that for I have been loving someone who became a big part of me. I have been loving him as much as I love my life, at my best and even my darkest moments in life, for his flaws. I have been loving him until now because I promised to do so. He's still not you.
Goodbyes are hard to say. Promises are difficult to break. Pain is hard to escape. And it's hard to keep the flames burning. I know sometimes you're so close to giving up but you still try not to. And it's getting harder for me to watch. As you try your best to help me mend my heart, you're starting to break your own. I'm scared of turning you into a sad person just like me, so I let you go.
This whole time hasn't been about us; it has always been about me waiting for him to come back.
You have given me the best you can, something special, your heart. You have given me things that he didn't gave me that I wish he did. This whole time hasn't been about us; it has always been about me waiting for him to come back. I know it's unfair. I feel like keeping you away from someone who can give you something I can't give you.
Maybe someday, I'll wake up. Maybe by that time, I'll go and look for you instead.
Thank you for staying with me, but now is the time to let go.