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From Our Readers: I'm Sorry, I'm Still Afraid to Love You

Whenever I think of what I am feeling for you, there's always a force that stops me.
PHOTO Paramount Pictures ART Clare Magno

Two days ago, I just realized that there's something special in you and there's something that makes my heart leap whenever I'm with you. I don't know but all I want is to see you and to talk to you.

We've been classmates for almost four semesters now, but this semester is different. I'm glad that I got the chance to know you better and to get along with you. You're not that bad as what I have thought. Then, I found out that you're an outgoing person and that you don't really care about what happens next. You don't pressure yourself about life; you just enjoy it which is what I admired and liked about you most.

To be honest, sometimes I got irritated by you because you can be too proud. But you're a very good friend. I have to admit that this is the first time I've ever had a guy friend. I have to admit that people were right when they said that having a guy friend is something indescribable and one of the best feelings in the world. Yes, to have a friend who is a boy is something indescribable. Do you know that feeling to always have someone beside you to protect you, to respect you, to scold you, to spoil you, and most of all to annoy you like your brother? But there is something deeper than that and that's the thing I can't explain.

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Whenever I think of what I am feeling for you, there's always a force that stops me. I don't know but I think it's a good thing, a caution for me because first, we're in the same group of friends and it's awkward if I confess my feelings for you. Second, I know that someone loves you and you love someone else too. Lastly, what about our friendship? What about our newly built friendship? I don't want to ruin it.

When will I allow myself be happy? I am afraid to fall and to get hurt. What if I fall so hard and there's no one to catch me, not even you? So for now, I'll try to stop myself from falling, falling so hard.

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