Candy Feels

From Our Readers: I'm Not Strong Enough for You

To the girl who regretted giving up her dream.
ART Michelle Wu PHOTO Capitol Records

All my life I thought it was you. I made myself believe that you have everything I was looking for, everything I needed. To me, you are my dream, you are my passion. And one day, I want you to be my future.

Everytime I wake up, I always ask myself, "What do I want to be?" My heart will answer almost always, "The one who deserves to be part of your world." I did become a part of your world. My love for you continued to grow and grow until it became the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. 

You are the reason why I believe that I can reach the sky and rearrange the stars to my liking.

I never believed in failure. Not until you're the one who suddenly made me feel that I am one. I never thought this, you will be this hard. Frustrations became my worst enemy. I felt like giving up every single time you made things so hard for me to bear. I kept on asking myself if loving you was a right decision. I just really want someone to tell me that everything will be alright, that this is just an obstacle. Even a simple message to cheer me up will do. 

I expected that you, of all people, will understand all the hardships I went through just so I can deserve to be a part of your world. 

But nothing ever happened for that. They told me to just give up and accept the reality that I do not deserve to be with you. I left you but my heart always finds its way to bring up all the memories we had and all the lessons I should have learned by now.

You always have a special place in my life. Yes, I regret leaving you. I regret giving up. I should have fought for my dream, for you, for us. But I guess I am too weak, just too tired to do that. And in your world, you don't need weak ones. You deserve people with strong hearts. I am not one of those people. Sorry if I wasn't able to keep holding on. I wish I were strong enough to fight for you.

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