Candy Feels

From Our Readers: "I Left Because It's Getting So Tiring"

I just realized that my value as a girl should be my priority.
PHOTO MCA Music ART Naomi Torrecampo

I just finished going through your profile and hers. You "loved" her photos again. Now, like before, I regret stalking you and your new love again. I feel sorry for myself because you never really "loved" any of my photos. You even ignored them sometimes, and I knew that.

Maybe because I fell deeply that's why it hurts. Maybe it's because I assumed, I hoped, I fell. I assumed that the way you looked at me had a meaning. It was just an ordinary look, an ordinary smile; nothing's special. I wasn't special. So, thank you for all the kilig and rollercoaster experiences that I had. Thank you for those nights when I couldn't sleep trying to decode all the messages you sent me. Thank you for giving me extraordinary memories that were mostly my best days.

Maybe it's because I assumed, I hoped, I fell. I assumed that the way you looked at me had a meaning. It was just an ordinary look, an ordinary smile; nothing's special.

You are the best guy I've never had. And I know that all these things have endings, but ours was like a fairy tale that never really happened because we didn't have a Once Upon a Time. Because I fell hard, it hurts so much, too.

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So I'll just stop here. I won't stop being your friend. I won't stop being someone you'll joke around with. I won't stop there, because I'll stop here. I will stop being someone who is deeply in love with you. I will stop being someone who keeps on hurting herself. I will stop the pain and heartbreaks because my heart can't afford another one anymore.

I'll stop, not because I want to, but because I need to. So please, let me. 

Because I'm so tired of being left behind, of heartaches, and of the pain every time I see you, I have to forget the feeling of being madly in love with you. I want this pain to stop.

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