From Our Readers: I Just Stopped Waiting for You
There's a question that lingers in my heart and in my head: How do I unlove you?
I just realized that no matter how long I wait for you, if you really wanted to come to me then you would have already. But you chose not to. No matter how much I call you, you will never look back. No matter how much I'll reach out my hand to you, if you wanted to hold it then you would have done that ages ago. No matter how my heart sings your name, I will never be the melody that your heart will dance to. I am not your favorite song that will always give you goosebumps whenever you listen to it. I might not even be in your playlist anyway.
You were always the main character in everything I wrote, but I'm not even a supporting character in yours. You were always the brightest star in my sky. You were always the music to my heart. You were the tall guy with that shy smile who has good taste in music that I always adored.
We can't be like one of those romantic comedy movie characters. We can't be like the love teams of our generation. We can't happen because I am never the lead girl nor the love interest. I am never the girl you will sing about. Though it hurts me to say those things, I already got used to the pain. I got used to the pain that I felt when I accepted the truth, the cold reality.
I guess it's really true that the world is not a wish-granting factory. Some people are not meant for each other, and we are one of those people. Love is not give and take because sometimes, no matter how much love you give a person, you can't take even one percent of the love you gave to them. If there were only me and you in this world, we could be together. But that's not the case. I never stood a chance to begin with.
Love is not give and take because sometimes, no matter how much love you give a person, you can't take even one percent of the love you gave to them.
There is only one solution, to let go. I need to let go of you but most of all, I need to let go of myself—from the pain that I got from loving you. I need to save myself from drowning in the ocean that you wouldn't even get in. I got tired of chasing a person who never wanted to slow down for me. I need to breathe and survive even if that means letting you go. I know that I shouldn't let myself live in a fantasy that you and I are together, so I guess this is goodbye.
I guess I could never unlove you maybe because unlove is not the right term. Love is like an energy. It cannot be broken nor created. It just comes in different forms. I am still waiting for the day that my love for you will go in a different form, like love for a friend. Please remember that I may not love you the same way anymore, but that doesn't mean that I will stop caring.
Love is like an energy. It cannot be broken nor created. It just comes in different forms.