From Our Readers: I Have to Avoid You to Move On from You
I really don't know how to start this, and we may not have so much memories, anyway. But one thing is for sure, I liked you. I still do. I was just dumb enough to let you go. I'm sorry. I'll always want to say sorry whenever I'm with you even though you told me that everything's alright.
People change and nothing's constant in this world, but I still wish you didn't. I still wish you messaged me regularly, and I promise you that this time I'll give you a reply. I promise I will make it up to you. I promise I'll make you feel special. I promise I'll take good care of you. I promise I won't take you for granted. And I promise I would never let you go again—if only you'd let me, if only you'd give me one more chance.
But our past is a broken glass that can never be fixed, so I know you won't give me another chance. You won't be able to trust me anymore even if you wanted to. You can't forgive me easily, and I understand that. You don't know how much I regret making you feel this way towards me.
I used to be so foolish to believe in signs and maybe, I still do. I kept asking myself, "What are all these for? Why do I have so many connections with you? Are they all happening so I could realize what I have lost?" Or "Maybe he's still the right guy for me? What's meant to be really finds its way back, anyway."
Is it just me or your actions contradict your words? Your words make me feel like you don't care, but your actions tell me you still do. I can feel it; that time when you took care of me because I was too dizzy. But maybe you just did it because you didn't have any choice. maybe that's just me wishing that somehow, I still have a little space in your heart.
We can't keep avoiding each other, but I think it's for the best. It is best if we don't see each other nor talk to each other for a while. Because when we try to make things better and less awkward, it seems like things only get worst. Then just when I thought that I'm finally over you, there you are looking so effortlessly good. And I can't keep my eyes off of you. And just when I thought that we're finally getting closer to each other, everything comes crashing down again.
The timing was never right for us, and maybe that's the sign I kept looking for.
I am really sorry for everything. This will be the last—last time I'll talk about you, last time I will feel sorry, the last time for everything between us.